Eeebee, this post might annoy you and I apologise for that. I have severe, clinical depression and for a very long time I was physically crippled by it. This capacity of depression, to cause serious physical disablement, is not always obvious from reading about it.
I now take medicines and do my therapy. I'm not well, and I'm not particularly positive, but the treatment definitely helps and has saved my life many times. In therapy, I also learned pain management, which is a top useful skill to have. It reduces my need for painkillers.
There are some truly malicious people in this world, it's true. People who take pleasure in harming others tend to rise to power, too, a fact I find depressing! As well as the small percent (about 4%) of people who are downright 'evil', there's also a very large percentage who would hurt another person if it gave them an advantage, and even more who hurt others without thinking it through. You're right about this.
However, there are also billions of lovely folks who do think first, who go out of their way to do no harm, and to do some good. Most people are good, actually. Trouble is, thinking about the bad can take up so much of your mind that you don't really have enough space to notice all the goodness. Getting antidepressants and talking therapies can help you notice when you're not giving enough credit to the 'good' in life, and fix it.
Being exclusively focused on the bad in life is a definition of depression, that's why I agree you sound depressed. It is realistic to acknowledge all the bad in the world; what makes it an illness is the way depression focuses only on that, shutting out the good. I hope this makes some sense to you.
It's so good to hear you've been shown real kindness :) You deserve plenty of kindness, you know, from other people and also from yourself. Kindness is healing. It would be nice if you'd go to your GP and give them a chance to be kind, too.
Wishing you well. xx