Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dh thinks we should split

2 replies

Whoknows36 · 07/07/2013 11:04

Hi,

I don't know what to think or do. Dh told me last night he isn't sure if he can continue as we are, he thinks its best we separate. We've been together 20 yrs and have two dc. He told me a few months ago that he's gay/bisexual hence the possible split. We still get on well and I hoped we could still make it work. But it seems even though our relationship is very good I'm not the one turning him on anymore and he doesn't think he can stay with me and cope with his feelings.

I have no idea what we do next, how do we sort out the finances? How do we tell the dc? How will I cope? Can I even afford to be alone?

I'm so confused and upset about it all. I feel a mess.

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 07/07/2013 11:07

So he told you he was bisexual a few months ago and now wants to seperate?

I think that means that he has found someone else, I am sorry to say :(

He should leave you and the children in your house and pay child support, hopefully more than the CSA minimum (I believe there is an online calculator). He wants to seperate, he should leave.

Above all though, he needs to be honest and tell you the real reason he is leaving.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 07/07/2013 13:17

I'm sorry you've had such a shock but it's probably unrealistic to think that you can carry on functioning as a married couple given this new information. He's telling you not only that he's gay but that he wants to actively have a relationship with someone new - if he isn't having that relationship already. So there's no going back from that, really and I'm sorry. If the relationship is still amicable then you can potentially work together on making the split happen as constructively as possible. There's no getting away from it being painful emotionally but, on a practical level, you can achieve a 'good split' even if you can't achieve a 'good marriage'.

Solicitors can help you with advice on what would be a fair way to share out things like finances. The final agreement you can draw up between yourselves. The children will need you to be as open and reassuring as possible - so talk to them together. Good luck

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread