I'm not sure if this is the right place or not. Apologies if it's inappropriate, a bit woe is me and/or boring. I feel like a rant I suppose.
My mother called me earlier, as she does about once a fortnight to complain about how ill she is feeling, or to borrow money. Today she was upset, she mentioned how my second-eldest brother (I have four) hadn't spoken to her for around five months. She was talking to me about how she just couldn't understand what she'd done so wrong to have her child ignore her like this... So I told her.
What's surprising is, this all seemed to be actual, breaking news. She was crying. Was she not present while we were growing up? Did I miss something?
I don't understand. Genuinely confused. We were beaten by my father in front of her, sometimes she held us down. She was there when my father riveted locks to the fridge and freezer so we couldn't feed ourselves, even though they made no effort to feed us. We were hungry, dirty, and bruised. We had little clothing. Unless the neighbour had given me some of her daughter's old clothing, I wore tatty boy's clothes to school in place of a uniform. My father kicked us out one by one, at the age of sixteen or seventeen, explained it all away to the social services as us being 'out of control', which translated to attempted beatings which turned into a full-on fight, my father sustaining some injury and calling the police to have us arrested, I was arrested twice for assault before the age of 15, the police never believed me, I was a 'child', even though my brother sat next to me whilst I was giving my interview, backing up everything I said. They didn't care. My mother backed up his false stories every single time this happened, we had no hope.
How can she wonder why we're not close to her?!
I'm so angry, I don't like thinking about all this. How can she be so fucking stupid.