DS telling friends he has been diagnosed bipolar, but he hasnt! help please?

[catkin14]

ExH and i split approx 4 months ago after a long marriage. ExH was EA and critical man to both myself and 3 DCs. I left him.
At first H was devastated, and clung to youngest DS (age 14), this lasted for approx 6 weeks. Then all of a sudden H found another life, and now seems to be living bachelor life but likely to have found another woman.
He went on holiday with a 'friend' but didnt tell his DS till after he got back.
I thought youngest DS was coping ok with everything, but he is telling his friends that he has been diagnosed with Bipolar...
He has been upset at school a couple of times but the school is good and supportive of him and keep in touch with me about his welfare.
I just dont know how to deal with this or how to be with him sometimes.
I have had to cut back a lot on his internet usage as this was getting too much.
I am going to try to talk to exH to tell him his actions affect DS badly, and try to get him more involved but dont hold a lot of hope with this, especially as the whole situation will be 'my fault'..
Any help appreciated, I feel worst parent in the world atm : (

catkin

This is going to be way out of left field - but you said that he used the net a lot. Is it possible that he's been on the internet chatting on some forum, or eg asking questions on a help site, and someone has said something like 'With those symptoms, it sounds as if you might be bipolar.' ?

And he's then seized on that to explain why he's not happy?

you may be right, he told his best friend that he had looked it up on internet.
I am going to try to talk to him about it, but feel way out of my depth here and very sorry that I have caused his unhappiness because i had to leave his father..

catkin I left my EA XH and three DC three years ago for much the same reasons. XH used DC2 as a crutch and she was very angry with me for a long time. Remember he needs his mum a lot, just to be a listener and to hear him rant about how unfair life is. It will hurt to hear his unhappiness but you can give him what he needs. He is a teenager, who wants a solid parent who will give him boundaries, not make unreasonable emotional demands on him, and let him be a child still.
Don't try and justify your actions, just listen and give him hugs and explain that it isn't his fault and he may be feeling very angry with you both and that is ok and you still love him very much. Ask how you can support him and what is worrying him. I'm sure you will be able to reassure him and find out what he is thinking. My hunch is he is dealing with huge anger and not sure how to let it out safely.
My DC2 is now a happy well adjusted 20 year old, her DF has a new GF and doesnt need her as an emotional prop any more. He blamed me for it all, of course, because otherwise he would have to admit some responsibility for what happened.
You sound like a lovely mum and I'm sure you will sort this out!

Well others are better placed to advise you on that, catkin. I think all I was getting at was that his apparent mistruth may more likely be an .....'official presentation' for others of the fact that he's not happy. Not lying as such.

I have to go for a bit.

Back - and I see Lemon has given you some thoughts from experience. Do you talk much with him anyway or would this be a new thing?

very sorry that I have caused his unhappiness because I had to leave his Father

^^ that is NOT true. You haven't caused this, his EA father has.

Boys can often have difficulty expressing things, he's very lucky to have such a lovely mum. Just have a chat with him, it might be attention, it might be his interpretation of what teenage mood swings are like?

Thanks for replies.
I feel that some of it is general teenage stuff anyway.
He does talk to me quite a lot usually but just lately a lot of lies seem to be appearing.
He is angry with his DF, not me i dont think, angry that his DF's whole attitude has caused this split etc.
I wish he would get angry with me, at least he would be letting it out.
But I am going to talk to him over the weekend about the bipolar thing.
He is well liked at school and has many friends and I think it is a bit odd that he is telling them all he has this problem when he doesnt.

Maybe he doesn't deep down think they're really friendly and is trying to stir some sympathy. Or he's unhappy and wants to have something special of his own (even a problem.) Or he feels that he's having negative thoughts and needs to explain them to himself. Or.........Or..........

You need to talk and see if you can get any insights. Just remember that it is not your fault.

Thanks cozie.
I will try, very hard not to.

I will talk to him at weekend for sure. Thanks again

Best of luck.

Take him to gp ask about support .if gp is good have himm talk to gp alone