I just grrrrr :-(

[mebe705]

I just wake up

sad its been such long time
I was so blind stupid naive

I loved somebody

I feel so ashamed
how culd I sleep that long

Dear god, are you ok? When was this?

and then the real "fun"
started

It was all my foult

"I could not push
I did not wash properly
he laughed at everything
I tought I die he
laugh
I was in pain he laugh

he told me Im such ungratefull ba**d
that he had done all he could

I met his neighbour

she has seen us arguing once

she sugested
I have cancer
she sugested Im such bad mum and he is such
wondrfull dad
she sugested Im the drinking one

whe she said that day after first surgery I went out
to pub
I culd not stop crying

Do you have cancer? Hope you are going to be ok?

but I wake up when he
started shouting on the front of my neighbours

than he will look me up

I said something to him
I dared to say
that is that the way all women in his familly are so bad
his stories haw bad they are
that they drink spend money on drugs
dont care of their kids
(and the kids are well cared of esspecialy one)

It totally wake me up

But I truelly feel so ashamed of my self

that I was so blind

Latara hopefully not

Ok. Are you having investigations and is the baby ok now?
Your partner sounds like a waste of space.
And the neighbour shouldn't get involved.

yes well I guess we ok
just a life

it just made me sad how could I bee so irresponsible

You really need some outside help to enable you to see that being the victim of an abusive relationship doesn't make you irresponsible. Womens Aid can be reached on 0808 2000 247 and their website is here. If you're still in the abusive relationship and need help getting out they can help you. If you're out of the abusive relationship there is different help available.

It's not 'just a life'... it's a very precious and unique life and you deserve happiness.