Can I contest the grounds without contesting the divorce?

[FennCara]

Not overly fussed about the petition coming my way but have a feeling the reasoning will be unfair.

Is there a way of saying "that's bollocks, but carry on as I don't want to be your spouse either?"

TIA!

Yes, you can do exactly that. You have to respond and can agree the petition but object to the grounds. Makes no difference really. Why is he the petitioner?

No. I wouldnt bother contesting though. Only you, him and your solicitors see it, so who cares, as long as you get shut of him.
Mine was full of contradictory bollocks and blatant lies, but in the end you just get a decree stating grounds of unreasonable behaviour, but not what that behaviour was.

When you get the draft petition from his solicitors, you have the chance to raise objections to specific sections on the Particulars, but remember that they have to leave in enough to get it past the judge (I'm assuming he's divorcing you on UB).

If they ignore you/he doesn't give you a draft before issuing, then you'll receive the sealed copy from the court together with an Acknowledgment of Service form. On the Acknowledgment form, where it says, do you object to the divorce, say no, but the allegations are partly untrue/exaggerated etc (there's only a tiny box so you have to be disciplined in what words you use!).

So long as you don't say that Yes, you are defending the divorce, it'll just proceed as normal.

No one outside the court/solicitors offices sees the petition.

Just a case of him getting there before me, and having the money.

I think I will have to contest the grounds, I will never be happy with blatent lies even if it makes no difference.

This is why a "no fault" divorce is needed, IMO.

Why is there no option, in law, for a couple to agree they no longer wish to be married? Why does it have to be someone's "fault"?

Fair enough, have your say in the response box as mumble says.

I think there could be confusion on language here. You aren't contesting the grounds for the divorce which is the reason for the divorce.

If you contest the grounds you are either saying that they are not true and that you want to remain married or that they are not true and that you have your own grounds for divorce and so are cross petitioning. These days courts don'r force people to remain married against their will so will dismiss your contest in the first case and in the second case you simply make it more expensive for a (small in my opinion) point of principle.

The best option, again in my opinion, would be to accept the petition but object to the reasoning. This will not delay the process or involve any additional cost.

Ah ok so just a case of objecting to the grounds rather than contesting anything.

Had considered cross-petitioning but I'd rather save the money for our two (soon to be three) kids. Could fill a novel with my own grounds, but probably not the healthiest use of time...

"Why is there no option, in law, for a couple to agree they no longer wish to be married?"

It exists in UK law already

Yes, but only after two years of separation, of course.

Meaning that, unless there's some pressing reason to settle early (finances etc), the OP could wait a little, not sign off on the divorce at all, then go 'no fault'.

I think but ready to stand corrected, that if you don't respond it goes ahead anyway?

You can sort out finance and children legally without divorcing in fact, again ready to be corrected, I think you have to have sorted these before the decree absolute is granted?

Quite a lot can be sorted out independent of any legal split. You can sell property and share assets, work out contact and maintenance, etc ... all of that can happen quite independently of any legal procedure and frequently does when the divorcing couple are trying to keep costs down and are still able to cooperate with each other. However, if the OP's ex is already headed down the route of vindictive lies as grounds for divorce, I'm guessing they're not particularly cooperative.

The divorce has to be agreed and signed off by all parties. It's not going to go ahead if the OP does nothing.

I divorced XH for Unreasonable Behaviour and cited four counts of Inappropriate Contact with OW, thousands of texts, emails etc.

XH's solicitor sent a letter stating that he didnt agree with the grounds but would accept them. I had proof of all contact, so he couldnt really defend it.

His solicitor also said if I were to repeat the allegations anywhere else, then they would take further action.... Luckily because I have proof of mobile bills, emails etc, there is sod all they can do about it and I can tell who I want

The divorce can go ahead if the respondent does nothing as long as they have received the papers, you can apply to court to go ahead without a formal response after a period of time. I really wouldn't bother disagreeing with the grounds, no one will ever see it and it becomes a bit he says/she says. The judge just wants to know that the marriage has broken down.

If they put 'they were abusive to the children examples x y z' could that be held against you in custody hearings if you didn't contest it?

But who would want to wait 2years to be div? My lovely DP should not have to have a married bf just because no fault is not available for 2 years.

OP I agree with you and I regret not cross petitioning in response to ex DW lie that I had an affair. I only met dp after ex dw decided she did not want to be with me. The nutter still seems to think I was and am having an affair.

I was divorced for many counts of unreasonable behaviour, some petty, some slanderously false, some referring to my family and not even featuring me! Bizarre. I let them all stand. It's not as if they were pinned to the door of the town hall, or published in the gossip columns, or anything. In time, you will forget all about this, and just be glad you are rid of the fecker. Good luck!