relationshp problems, new baby, feeling unloved

[Arranoxford]

hello there.
feeling a bit lost in my feelings at the moment and need some feedback.
i had a realy rubbish birthday yesterday and i really needed a pick me up because the baby nights are relentless. i have a six week old lovely baby.am i being too harsh?
i woke up..... no attempt at breakfast....lunchtime.... went to get my hair cut which i payed for. lovely.... nothing for lunch.... he gets back from work and makes himself toast and nothing for me. i am breastfeeding. the evening arrives and he annouces he has bought a steak but could i cook it. no wine and when i say thats a shame ( we usually have a glassan he knows i like it) he does not offer to nip out instead he says there is some cooking brandy left over from christmas.

this is my first birthday with him and i thought he might make more effort since i am exausted looking after our lovely baby.

what do you think. i know its small stuff but it really upset me and i feel unloved and unlovable.

thanks so much xxxx

"this is my first birthday with him"

If the baby's his and this is your first birthday with him, does that mean this is a pretty new relationship? Less than a year together? Early days is usually the time when partners are super-attentive, super-romantic and wanting to make every landmark special. It's not 'small stuff' therefore to expect him to remember your birthday. Any decent man would have. He sounds like a complete and utter waste of time.

Happy birthday for yesterday. That does sound very rubbish. Could you talk to him about how you need to feel a lot more special to him than that? Has he had a birthday while you've been with him? Could you refer to that? Tbh, even if it wasn't your birthday I'd expect him to treat you better than that. Dh used to cook and cut up my food for me so I could eat while breast feeding. I think you need to let him know you are upset by this and ask for a special day soon where you feel a bit treated. Does this seem 'in character' for him or has it surprised you?

And it's not small stuff at all. These are the kind of things that are your relationship.

Why have you posted twice? (Just asking)

It sounds shit but you need to tell him clearly why it was shit if you want any insight. Is he always this dismissive of you?

Oh, and what Cog said, as per.

Happy birthday for yesterday

Happy belated birthday

:( That's awful. I'd be really mad. Is he usually so thoughtless and insensitive?

Is he doing his share with the baby or are you doing everything? You sound exhausted :(

That sounds pretty rubbish, if it's your first birthday with him has he had one while with you and did you do something for it? Were there any discussions pre-birthday?

Some people don't 'do' birthdays - DH and I do but we also discuss it before, as in - next weekend is my birthday shall we go out for dinner? Or in your case (and my next birthday) with a small baby it will be 'what can we do to make the day nice even though we can't go out?'

I don't think that not talking about it and then being disappointed is a good idea - especially if your relationship is going to last.. you can't feel like this every year so PLEASE say something to him NOW and nip this in the bud (or at least give him a chance to).

"he annouces he has bought a steak but could i cook it"

'Announces'... what a knob. Hope you told him to shove it up his arse.