I think there is something wrong with me.

[suchawimp]

I did something wrong at work and have to tell my manager tomorrow. I feel sick and am shaking and going hot and cold - I just can't seem to deal with stuff like this. It just makes me feel small and useless.

I don't know what she will say but it won't be nice. I hate being told off and really hate confrontation and raised voices. I don't know why and it is pathetic I know.

Is there a way to toughen up and get over this sort of thing?

No plan for avoiding it happening again - basically just told not to do it again.

I was on anti-depressants at 15 and again at 19 but the Dr wasn't all that supportive. Have tried counselling too. I have some long term family stuff but everyone has issues - I just seem to be the one that is incapable of dealing with them. I just don't know what is wrong with me. :(

There are two things you need to consider here.

On the incident at work, irrespective of what the mistake is, unless you have made it repeatedly, any decent manager would find ways of supporting you. "You're on your own" . I hope the more senior manager is also a more sensible manager! Sorry you have it hanging over the weekend, try to arrange something fun and distracting?

There is the more fundamental thing around your anxiety, fear of conflict etc. I'm no expert on that one so can only really suggest, as others have done, doctor and/or counselling. Sounds like you might need more than four sessions, and with someone you can connect with to get to, and address, the root of things?

Hope you have a better day today.

That sounds quite debilitating. I agree with the other posters - it's not just about this situation since that's quite a disproportionate reaction.

You need some support to get to the underlying source of the anxiety. Help is more likely to be counselling than medication, tbh, although medication might take the edge off the anxiety while you learn to deal with it. But you definitely need to talk to your GP. Write down how bad you feel, or show them this thread, if you think there's any chance you'll downplay it.

You talked about family issues. It certainly sounds like the work situation is triggering a long-standing pattern you learned in early childhood at a point or points when you were traumatised. Basically something in your adult life happens to kick that pattern off and suddenly you feel like you felt as a child again. You can learn not to let it affect you like that - a therapist can help you work through it.

As for the work situation itself, just keep repeating to yourself "it was just a mistake" - you didn't mean to do it and you don't need to feel bad about it. What's done is done, blame doesn't help to fix the situation (your boss is being an arsehole btw, I wouldn't do that to my team). Have a think about how it could be avoided in future (do you need more support from your boss, do you need more time for that task etc), and suggest that as well as the solution to the immediate problem. And be proud of yourself for actually fessing up, some (less honest) people would just have tried to hide it.

Wow what a crap manager!!!!!

I'm a manager and would never say that to my staff.

What's the job market like for your area of work? Can you find another one?