oh oh oh! just put a long lost relative into face book..and found them. What to do??

[jimijack]

Well its my DH's auntie who he has never met.
His dad never talks about his family and indeed DH has never met any one from his dads family.

I did a family tree search and have uncovered all sorts of intrigue, DH was facinated by it all and gave his blessing before i went ahead. (This was quite a few years ago)

Not even MIL had ever met any one from FIL's family, he never talked about them.

Im obviously going to talk to DH tonight when he gets home from work and show him the profile, but would LOVE to contact her to find out more family history as there are loads of blanks.

Would you? (With DH permission obv)

It's your DH's call as you recognize, I think. But I'd be very careful - there must have been one heck of a blow up if he's never met anyone and knows little or nothing about them.

Is your FIL still alive?

I'd leave it about a week from when I told DH to allow him to absorb.

Sometimes families have put distance between themselves for very good reason. My DH's family is like this.

Its very exciting. I love a good bit of intrigue but I'd tread gently with this one so that you don't get repercussions that you just swept him along. Could you let it truly be his decision - by passing over the details and letting him make the contact if he wishes it.

I would but only after checking with other family members with whom I had longer-standing loyalties. If his Dad is still around, for example, it's got to be polite to mention it to him rather than go behind his back. My own family tree has a few long-losts and 'we-don't-talk-abouts' in the branches and, quite often, there's a very good reason why they are there.... Curiosity killed the cat etc.

FIL is still about, but i wouldnt even broach it with him, he is an out and out wanker.
Its probably something he has done to cause the rift.

DH however is curious about that side of the family, he has cousins and family he never knew about.
Totally up to him, will show him if he wants to see it and leave it.

Have to say that from the picture, the family resemblance is astonishing!!

If the FIL is a wanker, even more reason not to contact his sister without doing him the courtesy of telling him first. Means you occupy the moral high-ground rather than giving him another excuse to behave badly.

I found a branch of our family on facebook. It was very exciting. All the profiles were open and I had a look. At first they looked interesting, had done interesting things, although nothing like us. We had nothing in common. One was a UKIP nutter, another had a huge slanging match with someone about the birth of her stepdaughter's child (who was not yet born). I decided it probably was not worth contacting them........... It was also a salutory lesson in what to post on your public profile.

flipping heck, just googled her and she is the mayor of the next town to us!!!!

FIL doesn't own his sister's life so no need to tell him what you are doing. Presumable your DH and his aunt are both adults so it is up to them. For all you know the family could have been desperate to hear from your DH.

That post at 1.43 is quite specific so I would be careful what you post on here.