This came from reading a very unrelated thread and I realised I'm still very cross 2+ weeks later.
Recently we visited mil for the weekend. Bil + family live round the corner from her. By the time dh and I got up on the first morning, bil had dropped his 2 ds's round to mil because they had been "ill" overnight and he and his wife were tired. Turned out they had a odd bug involving cough, tummy ache and d&v.
By the time I went downstairs (and I'm talking 8am, not late for the mum of a 9,11 and 13yo at the weekend) our nephews had been there, bouncing on my dc knees, kissing them etc for 45 mins. They came and sat on me etc for 30 mins before mil mentioned they'd been ill.
No big deal? Well, my dd1 missed most of the last week of s1, other dc weren't so bad. But I have a neuro disability that is badly affected by a virus (in fact, means I lose the ability to walk). We checked with mil the day before : no, no viruses (though older nephew had been off school all week and she had looked after him, she knew).
We got ill after we got home late Sunday night. Dd1 started vomiting, others had nausea/temps. By Monday night I was running a temperature - dh had to help me downstairs on Tues morning (had to look after dc, he managed to get time off later but it's not easy for a GP in a small practice).
Tues-Fri I had to sleep on the sofa-bed and wash in the downstairs loo, I honestly couldn't get upstairs (and yes we are planning a downstairs shower room). I couldn't cook, could just manage to the toilet alone, tbh it was just my sheer bloody mindedness that kept me out of hospital. With ill children.
When mil phoned dh told her we'd been ill. She utterly denied that it had anything to do with her or bil's family ("you could have picked it up anywhere") despite the symptoms being identical. I missed a hospital appointment (we are told very clearly not to attend with a bug - for obvious reasons as the clinic is for people with my condition) and am now struggling until my next hospital treatment which I get at 6 weekly intervals (separate to consultant apt) and is usually very helpful - but not if you catch a virus the next week!! She said that she didn't tell us bil's family was ill as we "wouldn't have come". Bloody right!!
Apparently we're over-reacting, ungrateful, unreasonable and she won't talk to me (its all my fault, apparently. Yes, because I engineered a rare neuro condition only diagnosed 50 times a year in the uk).
I'm raging and don't want to see her or bil's family for a very long time. Dh also cross but thinks he should build bridges. I say that's their job. Ugh!!