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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I find the strength to leave?

2 replies

Whatthefeck · 02/07/2013 17:15

I namechanged for another thread and am keeping the name change for this, as it involved the same thing really and I'm embarrassed. Blush

The other thread is here and it's relevant I think.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1790513-to-be-furious-with-DH-and-his-ex-wife

DH is away (not with DSD now, working) and is refusing to tell me anything about what has happened with DSD or what has been said, so naturally, there's the fact I am a little worried about her, but I just see this as a sign of the problems within our marriage tbh. He is refusing to reply to my texts, but then keeps ringing me and hanging up when I say anything he doesn't like.

We argued at the weekend. It was over something silly we disagreed on. I thought I was right, he thought he was, it was nothing. So, I said 'ok then, whatever' as we were getting ready to go out and he started shouting at me, telling to fuck off and that I am a wanker etc etc. He has done this before and don't get me wrong, I am quite capable of arguing back, but the name calling etc is always instigated by him and usually over some perceived critiscism of him. He also says to me during arguments 'who do you think you are talking to?' and I think that he thinks I am the shit on his shoe.

I want to leave. I don't want my DC growing up seeing this, but I am pregnant, not working, miles away from my family (different country of the UK) with no real friends here I can talk to. I suspect he thinks, as usual, that he can ignore me while he is away this week, speak to me how I want and then just expect to come back here on Friday when he finishes work. I feel so pathetic for having given in so many times before and let him behave like this and then come back, but I find it so hard to cope with the DC on my own and I'm not sure if I have antenatal depression too. (I have a history of PND and depression)

I've smashed my phone up so that I can't text him, because otherwise I will. I know that is stupid, but I am so weak I can't even stop myself texting him. Sad

I just don't know what to do from here.

OP posts:
bigstrongmama · 02/07/2013 19:52

How about starting with visiting your doctor? At least then you will get help with any possible depression and could talk through your options for the future. Or can you call your family? Would you want to move if you go it alone?

Lweji · 02/07/2013 20:34

How do you cope when he's away?
Or do you mean financially?
In that case, could you talk to a solicitor and be clear about your options?
He is supposed to support you and the children if you leave.
Would you move to the UK, or would you stay abroad?

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