Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not sure what to think....

9 replies

Airfryer · 02/07/2013 17:11

I'm 36 weeks pregnant an have an 18mo ds. Me and my partner generally get on we'll, he is very selfish tho and has history of lying.

We had a big row in Friday. We were meant to be going out with his cousin and wife that night for a meal. He had arranged for ds to spend day in nursery and ad booked for me to get my nails and hair done. I had been n hospital on Wednesday night for obs after saving pains all day due to my ds jumping on my belly first thing. It was a nice surprise that e had booked that as I don't get much time to myself what with working full time hors over 4 days, studying for degree and looking after ds. Anyway, this row was over a lie he'd told nursery. I asked him why he'd lied and he got very angry, screamed at me, slammed brakes on in car etc.

I tried to get him to talk to me and explain the reason for the lie but he wouldn't. I decided to go to my mums for the weekend but said I would stay f he could talk about it - I got the feeling he didn't want to.

My mum lives 2 hour drive away. Me and ds went up. Ds was out of sorts but nursery had said that he had even sick and advised to keep an eye as there had been a sickness bug going around. Dp told me he ad angel led the table and was going on the piss.

Ds was sick twice that night. I text dp to let him know. He was un contactable and hs phone died at some point during the night. I felt really let down that he would go out and get smashed and remain un contactable when I was close to term.

Next day he tells me that his nephew had stayed on the settee. He did a viewing on the house in the morning.

Me and ds came home on Sunday. His phone went off whilst he was downstairs ad I had a look. There was a conv with an unsaved number on arranging meeting at ours on Friday night and thanking him for having them over.

It turned out that he also had his cousin's(another cousin) daughter stay but led about it in case I thought anything had happened. There are many things that I would out past my dp but shagging a family member isn't one of them.

Apparently she slept on settee and his nephew slept on floor downstairs. He also said that he didn't lie to me, he just didn't tell me.

Have since found out that she was in my home alone whilst dp dropped nephew a work. And was there whilst I was talking to dp. She was also there for the viewing.

He has a really big family and they aren't close. This girl lives about 1/2 our away and he doesn't keep in touch with her.

I suppose I'm upset that it seems as soon as my back is turned he is arranging a big piss up and secret sleepovers :( no wonder he was happy for me to go to my mums.

But what I'm really struggling with is that he'd lie about it in first place. Just got me questioning what else he can lie about especially with the "I didn't lie, I just don't tell you" comment.

I realise that this may e my hormones playing up. Please tell me it is!!

OP posts:
Airfryer · 02/07/2013 17:13

Sorry for typos!!! On phone

OP posts:
Boosterseat · 02/07/2013 20:00

Getting on well in a relationship is not usually accompanied by lies,selfishness and leaving the mother of your children at home,pregnant and with a sick child.

He screams in your face when you called him up on a lie that he told?!?! Wtf.

What are his good points exactly?

Lweji · 02/07/2013 20:04

Sorry, it doesn't look good.

What Boosterseat said.

LookingForwardToMarch · 02/07/2013 20:07

Totally not good

sorry op

Airfryer · 02/07/2013 20:08

I wasn't a home. I'd gone to my mums 2 hours away. I didn't even know any of this.

OP posts:
Airfryer · 02/07/2013 21:00

He told me she had a partner and there's pics on Facebook. There aren't any. Apparently he now doesn't know if she's with partner. He knows nothing about this woman who was left in my home. He wouldn't have done anything......would he?

OP posts:
Lweji · 02/07/2013 21:01

Does it matter whether he did something or not?

Do you trust him?
With all the lies he keeps telling?

Airfryer · 02/07/2013 21:03

Of course it matters....... That would be it....over.

He's been really normal for such a LNG time but now I'm doubting what else he's not told e about

OP posts:
Boosterseat · 03/07/2013 07:56

Its not normal though is it?

You have been conditioned to accept lying as par for the course.

Compulsive lying is rooted in attachment and shame issues, he needs professional help - people who lie compulsively lie to protect themselves and will lie when faced with evidence which states otherwise.

You will not be getting full disclosure.

Tell him he needs help, then back away you have enough to deal with without this added stress.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and take it easy ok.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread