Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

dealing with a long-winded dh

38 replies

carlajean · 30/06/2013 09:02

my dh is incredibly long-winded and seems to be getting worse. I do realise that this may seem trivial, but it's driving me crazy. Every anecdote goes on for ever. He's OK when it's just the two of us, as he doesn't seem to need to go into such detail, and I can also give him a prod, but in company I feel like shooting myself, or him. Does anyone out there have the same issue, or perhaps other people are more tolerant than me?

OP posts:

DHtotalnob · 05/07/2013 17:03

General question to all: do they maintain eye contact during the monologues?

Triumphoveradversity · 05/07/2013 17:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pictish · 05/07/2013 17:13

Can I join? My dh does maintain eye contact, yes.
I sometimes say to him "what did I ask?" when being regaled with yet another monologue on some shit I'm not interested in, and didn't ask about.

It really gets on my tits actually.

Triumphoveradversity · 05/07/2013 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Corygal · 05/07/2013 17:24

My DF does this to the point we all think dementia, but he's been on and on and on at it since he was younger than I am (45).

Being a bore is no joke.

Worst is that Dad demands attention from all and snipes if he doesn't get 100 per cent wraparound attention from the entire audience ie everyone else at the party/table. He turns nasty after monologuing for 20 minutes and no one else can speak.

His record is 2.5 hours - I timed it. He screamed at me when I tried to leave the room for the loo.

mrsravelstein · 05/07/2013 17:29

HA! i thought it was just my DH.

sample conversation "how was my game of golf today? well, let me answer that by going back to the first game of golf i ever played, oh, it must have been in 1986, with, hmmm, remember that guy Simon you met 7 years ago in Devon? well his wife's father, his name was Don, he had a Triumph...." etc.... then i forget he's talking to me and wander off to do something else and he looks a bit peeved.

PosyNarker · 05/07/2013 17:36

Mine does it and exaggerates. So over time and with retelling 'that time we had to get off the bus and walk 7 miles (true) becomes 10 and so on...

I get a bit embarrassed because he'll get to the point where the story becomes implausible. I'm genuinely unsure if he does it on purpose because he will swear blind it's what happened.

Infuriatingly if I embellish a funny story (even if completely by accident) he'll immediately contradict me with 'that's not what happened'. I had to explain that 'we don't contradict Posy in front of friends in the pub' several times before he 'got it' .

DHtotalnob · 05/07/2013 21:27

There's an excellent self-help book out there by Hargreaves on this very subject. The methods he advocates iatr controversial but seem effective. Called Mr Chattershite or something like that......

echt · 05/07/2013 22:41

I work with someone like this. Also wags the finger in your face. This person will take most tangential part of the conversation to turn it into a vehicle for an interminable verbal shitstorm about what THEY want to talk about.

This person is also very nice, not a malicious bone in their body, or they'd have been boiled up for glue years ago.

justgivemeareason · 05/07/2013 23:07

My partner is verging on the autistic and he does this - long ramblings with no awareness of other people's boredom and attempts to get away from him. I used to be polite about it, now I tell him directly. Before we go somewhere, I remind him not to talk too much. I tell him he must let me get a word in edgeways and if he keeps repeating himself I stop him. I know it sounds rude but it is better than being bored to death.

echt · 05/07/2013 23:19

DHtotalnob do you have more info on that book? if you google Hargreaves Mr Chattershite, you just get that Mr Men man. :o

mirry2 · 05/07/2013 23:20

My dh is just the sme. It drives me crazy. He also repeats what I say. So today I happened to mention that I've read that birds have to eat their own weight in food every day and he replied stating exactly the same thing. He also gives me lectures about what our dc should do about something or other and when I say that he should be telling them not me he gets all huffy. The truth is that while he is very intelligent and a deep thinker I am much quicker than him and get embarrassed when we're in company although like the other posters, none of our friends seem to mind his 'funny' ways.

ArtemisKelda · 05/07/2013 23:36

Are any of you my mum? My dad is exactly the same. Wonderful, lovely man but takes forever to get to the point. DS is exactly the same too. Drives me up the wall still love them to bits though

Flip

1 2