sex chat rooms

[needadvise2]

I went away for a night, dp told me he'd been on the internet checking out wedding venues for us. When I got home I checked the history and yes he had looked at venues but also sex chat rooms, local escourt agencies and local contact agencies. I haven't spoken to him yet but I am devasted. our dd is 14weeks old and I am feeling very sensitive and vulnerabe. We always talk about being honest and I don't mind him looking at porn but this seems too personal. Any advice?

Hi, don't over react maybe it's just curiosity eg what's actually on these sites what do people offer etc? It may be for example like someone being in London and walking through soho's sex district to see what it's like but never actually having any intention of joining in...looking and taking part are very different things.
However I'd try to bring the subject up and see if he volunteers he looked if not without it being an accusation ask him directly about it....secrets cause mistrust in relationships and things then get blown out of proportion. Talk about it honey or it will fester into something big!

What made you check the history?

Ohhh poor you.

He could just be looking out of curiosity - I know some people get into a tizzy about their DH even looking but I dont have a problem with it. I agree with Maturer but would say stay calm & play detective he obviously doesnt realise you can check the history on the machine.

Although it would be EASIER not to know if its more than curiosity you NEED to.

BUT there is a third possibility which is if you have wireless internet other people within your locality can use your connection. I read a thread on here about it a while ago, so check if your access is secure if you have wireless.

I guess she was just checking to see which venues he had been looking at.

Actually on the wireless access, im not sure if that would show in your history (you would need someone with more techy knowledge than me) I know it would show as your computer at the other end.

Thanks for keeping me in check. Im upset coz I've always said I may not like some of the stuff he does but would rather know. We watch porn together and go to lap dancing clubs but these escourt agencies and sex chat rooms have been look at in secret and are interactive. In fairness I don't know if he's registered or just looked. I feel upset that when I talk to him about it he'll say sorry but not see why it upsets me. When he knew I was registering with mumsnet he didn't like the thought of me in a chat room! Thinking about talking with him tonight when kids in bed, and keeping it calm.

I think talk it through with him but he's proberley just curious and looking what out there, which i think is quite common. Worth talking it through with him though and tell him why it makes you feel uncomfortable.Hope chat goes ok.

no the history wouldn't show on your computer if someone had used your wireless connection to access the net. If someone else was using your connection what they were accessing would show on your router settings not on a specific computer.