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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Being owed money by Twunt - WWYD?

11 replies

fooledagaincantbelieveit · 27/06/2013 11:16

I had a thing (not serious, but still got involved much deeper than I should have done) with a guy, who I knew from my past. I was suffering serious marriage breakdown (ex H done for posession of indecent images of children), all devastating. This guy from my past (who lives abroad) got in touch (pure coincidence - there had been no contact for 18 years) via LinkedIn last summer, when I was alone and very vulnerable and open to being desired, given what my exH had done.
Anyway, it was going well: he come over to see me, we had amazing time, Then he disappeared, reappeared, disappeared etc. Totally twat - but I wasn't strong. He asked me to go and visit him in the summer - jumped at the chance. Two weeks later he's back with an ex... I mean - you could have predicted that Angry

Trouble is, I forked out for the airfare and he said he would pay it back. I know it's my own fault for allowing myself to be treated this way (after all, he did the same 18 years ago...), but that's not what I'm asking.

What I'd like to know is: Would you persue it (it's less than £200, but still...)? I'm tearing myself up inside with anger and fury at being out of pocket, especially when he knew my situation (single parent, two kids - not a lot of money). Or should I let it go and move on? Ladies - what would you do??? Please advise!!

PS: Have been reading the No Contact Rule to help get over this - it's brilliant!

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 27/06/2013 11:32

If you didn't ask him to pay for the flights immediately afterwards then it looks like sour grapes if you ask him now that he is no longer interested in you.

Keep your dignity, let it go and move on!

fooledagaincantbelieveit · 27/06/2013 11:37

Thanks! He actually offered the day he (very kindly!) told me over Skype that he would reimburse me as it was all his fault (his words amazingly!)... But now push comes to shove and he has been asked several times to pay, funnily enough he's not so keen. What a total, total bastard....

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 27/06/2013 11:43

Yep! Grin he is indeed.

Learn from it and move on.

changechangechange · 27/06/2013 11:48

Indeed, let go. Rubbish tho!

If it's any consolation I actually gave my ex-twunt money after our breakup. Not money I actually owed at all but money he repeatedly and angrily demanded (moral debt, apparently, towards unexpected repairs on his parents' house; their house had nothing to do with me and I doubt they saw a penny. Grim). Couldn't really afford it but still worth it to make him fuck off to the far side of fuck....

NicknameTaken · 27/06/2013 11:49

I wouldn't pursue it. I think it will end up costing you a lot more than £200 worth of anger and frustration to try to claim it back. Your mental health is worth more than £200.

fooledagaincantbelieveit · 27/06/2013 11:52

Change: fuck off to the far side of fuck - LOL LOL! Love it - shall be using that Smile

Thanks Ladies

OP posts:
changechangechange · 27/06/2013 12:56

Fooled - I can't take credit, I borrowed it from elsewhere on MN! :)

WafflyVersatile · 27/06/2013 14:03

sometimes when you lend someone money and never see them again it's money well spent.

give it up and move on.

AKissIsNotAContract · 27/06/2013 20:10

I took my ex to court for the 10k he owed me. It was worth it for me. I was awarded my money plus interest and my legal costs. I have a hold on his properties (not sure of the correct legal term) so when he sells them I get my money. For £200 you could go through the small claims court.

Pinkdaisy4 · 27/06/2013 20:51

OP, thank you for your comforting words on my thread re another twunt of a freeloading , selfish excuse of a man.

We shall be strong together . If it means we're rid......it's money worth spent.

Although I understand how angry you feel right now. Flowers x

fooledagaincantbelieveit · 27/06/2013 21:02

Hi Pinkdaisy - you are so welcome and I'm glad I was able to help - or at least use my experience to reach out to someone else. Honestly there must be hundreds of women like us out there... BUT NO MORE FOR US!! Cheers! xxx

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