Got my 30min free solicitor app on Friday - what do I need to do?

[ninilegsintheair]

Posting this here rather than in legal as this feels more safe. After much agonising for about a year I've finally bitten the bullet and organised a 30 minute appointment with a local solicitor (through work) for Friday afternoon to discuss separating from my husband.

Brief history - married for 4 years, together for 9, DD who is 2. Marriage has always been rocky, with 2 DV incidents, one unreported in 2009, the other, last year, was reported (but not really taken seriously by the police anyway). A history of emotional abuse. We own our house jointly (mortgage) but have our own individual bank accounts.

I don't know how to talk to the solicitor or what (if anything) I need to bring with me. Can anyone give me any pointers? Thanks.

You'll know your case like the back of your hand, but make notes to make sure you cover everything. The solicitor will guide the meeting - and they crack along at an incredible pace. You'll be amazed at what you get done in half an hour.

Take along as many docs as possible, just in case - including crime number and date of DV incident. The solicitor will tell you what to do and what info/docs s/he needs. You will be filling out Legal Aid forms together (as you are a victim of DV) and that will be done in that first session - they will want to get the funding secured straight away and won't waste any time applying for it.

Good luck and WELL DONE for doing this

Definitely a good idea to ask, make the most of that time! A word of warning - my initial appointment went on for an hour, and the solicitor said not to worry about it. but I remember another post on here where someone had gone over the free time without even realising, and then got the bill! Check how it works.

I'd concentrate on what questions you want answered. Do you want to know about the divorce process? Or are you concentrating on separating? Are you wanting to remain in the house, or sort finances so that you can move out? Have a think about what are the most important things for you to understand as most of the time will be taken up by giving them your back story so that they can help.

Might also be worth posting on the legal board, there are some family solicitors on there that might be able to point you in the right direction.

In terms of how to talk to the solicitor, mine's absolutely lovely. They provide the tea and the tissues and are used to people spilling their guts. I didn't need to bring anything.

Thanks springy. I admit I don't feel very good about going, in fact I feel guilty as we're currently in a 'good' phase where almost everything seems fine. Under no illusion that things will change though, they always do.

I'm not sure how successful it can be going down the DV route - like I say it wasn't really taken seriously at the time. Support from the HVs was good though. I don't have a crime number but do have the date.

I wouldn't get a mark for that - I didn't answer the q!

Just tell the solicitor your story. If you want to write it out first to get it clear in your head then do that before you go in - your written story may be used as part of your evidence later if you're happy with how it's written. But don't think about that now - just get the story written down, it doesn't have to be a masterpiece.

A solicitor just wants to know the facts - rather like a doctor wants to know the facts. Just tell the story, ask where you stand, what you can hope for, if they are prepared to represent you.

You may cry, but don't worry about it. They've seen it all before.

Thanks also noregrets, I think I'll do a list of things, it still feels confused in my head, when it shouldn't really.

The session is provided through work so I won't get a bill but not sure if they'll let it overrun! I don't mind either way tbh.

Have you been in touch with WA? 0808 2000 247. It will help to have some back-up support - and they will keep you on the straight and narrow about what you want to do (they may also have something to say about the DV incident 'not being taken seriously' )

Oh I'm positive I'll cry. I'm crying now just thinking about it. Will make a note to take tissues

That's bloody cheeky to charge if it overruns!

never heard that before!

I'd second posting in legal to get as many pointers as possible.

I didn't ring WA at the time but was in contact with a local equivalent group for some time. Havn't spoken to them for some months though. They were sympathetic but said there wasn't anything they could really do (two male officers who joked with me that 'all marriages have rough patches, we have bad days too').

Take what's relevant to what you want to know. Eg if want to know about finances take all financial info you can get your hands on - your and his in ones, equity in house, any savings or debts or pensions.

Ok, I'll post in legal in the morning. It can't hurt to be armed as much as possible to make the most of the session.

I agree with noregrets, you need to be clear before you go what you are asking about, and what your goal is in the short to medium term. What do you want to achieve? I am presuming separation so sol will advise you where you stand financially and legally. Mainly think what questions you need answered, and don't be afraid to write things down. You probably need to take your passport and something with your address.
Remember if you do not like the solicitor, find them hard to talk to, or anything like that, you can always find another one.
All the best.

Clearly typed that very slowly and x-posted with several posts.

That's appalling nini

If you have the date and the time, you could make an 'observation' to the force. I guess you remember what the police officers look like?

They clearly haven't had DV training. The police force my way are very well clued-up on DV. I don't know if it is compulsory training (it should be!) - perhaps you could post a thread asking anyone who is in the police what the policy is re DV training?

Remember if you do not like the solicitor, find them hard to talk to, or anything like that, you can always find another one.

Second this.

I did look up the DV standards in training for the police and what I experienced was far from their ideal. TBH I'd pretty much forgotten my meeting with them but I think I wrote it down somewhere, will have a look...

I'll remember that about the solicitor when I go.

It may be an idea to follow that up, then. If it is mandatory training and they fobbed you off with that shit, then something needs to be said

Your legal aid funding depends on it, nini . However, it will be documented, regardless of their crap response ( again), so you should be ok.

Have you posted in legal yet?

All the advice I'd give is already on here, I think. Just wanted to say good luck Nini - it's another step towards getting your life back. Hope it goes ok tomorrow, will be thinking of you.

Hi nini I just had my free 1/2 hour yesterday and came away feeling empowered... I did it by telephone (and to my shame burst into dreadful tears a couple of times which wasted a few of my free minutes) I had no pre-conceived ideas of how the conversation was going to go BUT I was glad to note that she didn't want to go into all the details of what the problems are we established that he is a controlling bully-- only how I wanted to move forward. I imagine in your case the DV may affect access rights for your DD? Not sure!

Good luck try to have clear-cut questions re property, access I think the initial session is to try to get you to sign up with them rather than to give you specific answers, but in my case it helped to clarify what the process was, and how we'd go about establishing a settlement out of selling property we jointly own. What she wouldn't/couldn't tell me (because I did ask) was whether I should move out of the house and negotiate from a distance, or tell him, in situ so to speak! Although she did tell me that of course safety is paramount.

Write down all the facts that will be useful for the solicitor: dates that you met, started living together, got married, had DC, DV incidents occurred (even if they were not reported), list of EA incidents/descriptions/frequency (a diary is helpful if you keep one), list of your assets and their value (e.g. house, savings) - in separate names and joint names - and debt (including mortgage), any assets that you had that pre-dated your marriage (e.g. savings or inheritance), current address (and any previous address where you lived together), employment history and salaries, and any other information that might be relevant about either of you or your families. And write down your list of questions too so you can go through those methodically. Good luck

Hey Nini, how did it go?