Can I really cut my mum off?

[ManAliveThisThingsFantastic]

She's not a nice person at all. She frequently tells me how much I ruined her life by being born, I'm a failure and a let down.
I was the result of a split condom to a waste of space of a man who my mum then "had" to marry so she wouldn't shame the family (despite being 31 and her own woman). Then nastily divorced when I was 5, again my fault. This has all been drilled into me since I was old enough to listen.
We recently had a falling out, started out small and just escalated to the point we haven't spoken in weeks.
They have been a few good weeks, I can go out without worrying about her calling and me missing the call. I don't have to listen to her abuse. The thought of this lasting fills me with utter joy.
Can I really keep it up?

Dear god op, i feel for you, my dh has parents like this and i long for the day he makes the positive step forward in cutting of his family.
He did it for a short while and he was like a completely different person, with a new outlook on life but sadly he got anchored in again and again depression, upset and him being under the FOG are the result.

Good on you op for realising you do not have to see people just because you are related. It must be so hard

Could you use an app like this (there seem to be quite a few different ones)?

YouMail Visual Voicemail

It says you can block individual numbers and they won't be able to leave a message.

But you might be better off letting them leave messages - this app lets you delete without listening. If you block them, they'll get a message saying your number is out of service, and they may turn up on your doorstep. If you let them leave messages, the sheer joy of leaving spiteful messages on your phone may keep them out of your hair for a good long while.

You can find the strength ManAlive . They likely believe that you'll give in and respond which is why they're so persistent at the moment. As Viking1 said, your self esteem will grow the longer you don't respond - and you'll care less and less.

They'll go away after a bit. You might get the odd message if they have too much to drink or get themselves worked up over something - but just delete and ignore.

(And if they write or send cards, do a Return to Sender if you recognize the handwriting - don't read them.)

Best of luck.

Thankyou so much for your kind words everyone. The app looks a really good idea, I'll look into them.
I'm going to go for coffee and cake, need a bit of a pick-me-up and to clear my head a little!

YES YOU CAN!

In answer to your title.

Hang on in there.

It gets easier.

I have had no contact with my mother for 10 years. It's been uncomplicated, and more stable for having her out of my life. I do reassess the situation occasionally but then I remember constant drama!

I barely think about her now, which is extremely sad. At some point though you have to put your own happiness first.

It will get easier.

I haven't spoken to my mother since 2004. Haven't seen her since 2007 when she blanked me at my Gran's funeral. My life is so very much better without her in it.

yes you can manalive. I went no contact with my dad when I was 20, after a lifetime of being blamed and bullied for his inability to cope with life (all the same stuff - his divorce - my fault, no job - my fault, alcohol problem - my fault).

It was sad, and hard, but my life became infinitely better and simpler. Having the self respect to know when enough is enough is a huge thing to do, and you can do it!

My dad died 3 years ago, after finally drinking himself to death. This was really sad, and hard, but I learned to distance myself from his choices, and the lifestyle he chose which I had no influence over or responsibility for.

Good luck OP!