Eye rolling, sighing, sarcasm, nasty comments - it's like living with a jelly fish

[gloucestergirl]

My partner is 90% lovely, kind and supportive. But then every few days I get these signs of passive agression. It can be over anything. When I say something simple, not arugementative or nagging. Literally anything from my opinion on randomn things, tattoos for example, to explaining why I chose to dressed DD in some thing.

I HATE it. It makes me feels as if I irritate the life out of him. I think it is so rude and disrespectful to act like towards someone you supposedly love. I also think that it is a dreadful way to act in front our child.

I have spoken to him about it lots. But he thinks I am being stupid and carries on acting this way. He has been like this ever since we got together, but it was much rarer, so I ignored it. Since DD was born he is like this towards me nearly every day.

I want to leave him. It is a overly dramatic stupid thing to end a relationsip but of an unkind way of expressing impatience???

You don't want to be with someone who's unkind and disrespectful to you? I don't see anything wrong with that.

If he's like this every day sweetheart, he is not lovely 90% of the time It's very telling that he is more abusive now you are tied to him by a child - very common pattern. FWIW I don't think nasty bullies change but you can change your reaction. He clearly doesn't give a flying fig about your opinions right now, so what do you see as the way forward? If this were your friend or your adult DD, what would you say. Good luck

You are not being unreasonable. He is demonstrating his contempt for you. Why on earth would you want to stay with someone who feels that way about you?

Exactly what changeforthebetter says - he is not lovely 90% of the time. You don't need to stay with him. This is emotional abuse. What do you get out of the relationship now?

This is passive aggressive, profoundly disrespectful and emotional abuse.

You do need to give a heads up though. Sit down and state clearly you are not prepared to live with contempt and disrespect and unless he chooses to stop you will chose to move on.

Don't do nothing and then !WHAM! State the boundary clearly first. Give a warning and then ask him to f off.

This behaviour very often has infidelity at the end of it (down the line), so look after yourself and don't be like me, minimise it and pretend it isn't happening or that it will go away.

ANYTHING that protects you from the shattering experience of being contemptuously being treated as less than, is worth doing. Trust me!

Thanks for your replies, especially wellwobbly. They are all very definite. It is very hard to realise that this may be emotional abuse. Very shattering actually.

DH is actually a very good man. He has had problems adjusting to having a child. I have been impatient and given him the riot act a few times over the course of the last 16 months.

He is deep down still a child and wants to carrying on the irresponsible life we had been DD. Which makes me so bloody angry and him so angry at me for being angry and having expectations of him.

We had a big talk and he does realise how hurt I am and how insensitive he is. I want to try relationship counselling and see if that can help. Like I say he is a good man, he just can't/won't express his annoyance properly. I have given us a "deadline" until november, as that is when the flat lease is up, and then we can plan our future - together or separately.