How far will he go? Need advice

[bliss88]

I woke up this morning and started my usual morning routine made ds age 3.5 breakfast loaded dishwasher etc whilst dp had shower and got ready for work.

Now.....I went up stairs to get dressed and tidy slightly in ds playroom. My dp has recently been given a weights bench we agreed to get this as it was Cheaper than a gym memberships this has been put in the playroom as it is the biggest room in the house and it is not meant for outdoors which we were going to do in the first place, it is quite big but when put away there is enough room for ds to play, but when I went in this morning to tidy.... the weights were everywhere which annoyed me as dp said he would tidy up everytime after use and all of our ds toys were pushed in the corner which frustrated me more as this wasnt the arrangement.

When I went to say something to my dp he went nuts at me calling me all sorts of Names and then he went to hit me, he didn't as he stopped himself but if he hadn't walked away he would of, I was very scared and upset as I have never experienced anything like this before.

I don't no what to do he text me apologising and has been trying to contact me from work all day but I can't answer the phone to him I feel sick and upset.

I love him and we had a very normal happy healthy relationship this why I'm on here as this is very out of character for him, he's usually a sweet caring charming man who everybody loves, but today was different he never gets angry like this everybody gets cross now and again but since the day I met him he's been a very chilled and happy man.

Any advice would be great in what to do next?

Thanks

How long has he been using the weights?

Any chance he is also using steroids? 'Roid rage' can be like that.

No I don't think he is because he has always had a natural musically physique as he was a ballet dancer till a few years ago he just likes to maintain that healthy look he's had a gym membership for ages but it was getting exspensive finacilly...I could ask him but his behaviour today to unforgivable I'm scared to ask anything! X

Steroids was my immediate thought too.

You cannot live in a relationship where you are scared to ask anything.

He has lost his temper, called you names and got very close to hitting you over his own actions.

The pair of you need to sit down. You need to find out if there was any reason for this massive over reaction if it was completely out of character.

You then need to tell him how totally and utterly unacceptable his actions are today and that if he ever raises his hand to you again your relationship is over.

You need to mean this as you cannot live in a relationship where you cannot do anything through fear of someone losing their temper and threatening you even if they don't actually hit you.

Be brave it is very hard to confront these things.

Good luck!

Another one thinking steroids, sorry, OP. It's the change in his character you describe.

If he's really the decent man you say he is, you should be able to raise the subject with him, and get his agreement to stop.

There are quite a few herbal-based supplements aimed at bodybuilders that market themselves as 'natural' but are anything but. It may be worth checking he's not taking any of those as he wouldn't be the first to take something as damaging as steroids while mistakenly thinking he's chosen a safe and healthy alternative.

How long have you been together?

You need to make an immediate stand against this behaviour. If you need someone else present because you are scared, then enlist someone. Alternatively, leave for the night leaving your DP a note to say you are considering your future. Whatever you do, it needs to be completely unequivocal.

Hope you feel better soon.

He's taking steroids.

It might not be steroids he might just be in a ratty mood and took it too far, that knowledge that he hadn't cleaned up and knowing you would say something.

It does sound like steroids.

I would tell him that you don't want him to come home tonight - that he's to stay at a friends or anywhere, but not at home. Tell him you are scared of him and if he does turn up you will call the police. Tell him to come home to talk tomorrow night, but that you might still ask him to leave again.

What he has done is scary and you don't have to live with that.

As an aside, if you do let him come home and work things out, the weights bench has to go, it is not safe in a childs playroom.

ratty mood is shouting 'Of for god sake stop nagging' - it is not going balistic and scaring the fuck out of your partner by almost hitting them.

Deal breaker

This is just the start of it

Get you and your dc out of there