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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

First date in almost 20 years

11 replies

2anddone · 24/06/2013 21:07

Hi I have been asked out on a date! After getting strong and deciding to take no more shit off ex h I have accepted! I really like the person and we have known each other through friends for a while. I am a stay at home mum/full time student studying early years. He I know for a fact does not like his job. He has no children and I really don't know what we will spend the evening talking about. I only really deal with children during the day both my own and the ones at my placement and don't want to spend the evening talking about children as am worried it will scare him off and make him think I am trying to find my dc a step dad. I don't want to talk about his job as I say I know he doesn't like it so automatically clams up when its mentioned. We have known each other too long for the small talk around what is your favourite type of film etc. Usually when we get together there is a group of us so this will be our first time out alone, am really worried there will be long silences, please help me fill the gaps!

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 24/06/2013 21:22

Could you go to a film and then for a drink or something to eat? It would give you something to talk about.

ImperialBlether · 24/06/2013 21:22

Just a thought though - why doesn't he look for another job? I couldn't be doing with someone who just complained about it but didn't do anything about it.

AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 24/06/2013 21:24

Congratulations on your date!

I haven't been on a date for years but hopefully someone with more recent exp.will come along soon.

if I am going to see people and am nervous about there being gaps in the conversation, I read a newspaper that day so I can say 'did you see about...? What do you think?' More lighthearted/interesting features type stuff than Chechnya chat a la Bridget Jones though.

That said, you are going on a date because he likes you for you! So be yourself and talk about the children a bit if you want to, I'm sure he won't think you are trying to get them a stepfather Smile

AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 24/06/2013 21:26

X post with ImperialBlether. Film a fab idea

Numberlock · 24/06/2013 21:31

Where has he suggested going in the date and when is it?

2anddone · 24/06/2013 21:47

Its next weekend and we haven't really decided where we are going yet. Think we are deciding once we know what is on at the cinema

OP posts:
Leavenheath · 24/06/2013 22:06

Politics with a small p? Stuff in the news? Your mutual friends? What's on your bucket lists?

Bant · 25/06/2013 07:19

Bucket list is a good thing to talk about. Also:
What was your favourite holiday as a child?
Do you have a zombie plan?
Football: is it just rugby for people who can't throw?
What's your favourite meal, and what's the best food you can cook?
What did you want to do as a job when you grew up?
What's your idea of a perfect holiday now?
Talk about siblings and extended family

That's a start.

All of this over dinner and a bottle of wine.
I don't think a film is a great idea because you just sit next to each other in silence for a couple of hours. If you can go for drinks afterwards, maybe.

Good luck

thefrozensouth · 25/06/2013 07:24

How about ambitions -what you'd like to do - what he'd like to do. What you/he wanted to be when were kids. Why this did/didn't happen etc and then let it move onto other areas naturally.

Also fine to say you haven't been on a date for ages so its a bit scarey/odd - he'll be feeling the same.

Shodan · 25/06/2013 07:34

Another good one is: If you were King of the World, what would you do?

Bant · 25/06/2013 15:59

shodan - I'd push Leonardo diCaprio off that bloody ship.

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