I " need " to have a relationship, so I can get better mental health care & other issues.

[allysinn]

Not sure where to begin, I feel my issues could span several areas but to be brief my situation is this.

I am 36 years old, childless and would love to have a baby one day.
I have mental health issues which stem from childhood sexual abuse from a close family member.
I am unemployed, do not drive and live in a small welsh town.
I have had lots of experience in casual relationships ans being used by men.
I have NO female friends and have other issues.
I am lonely.

My mental health team are about to drop me, I have a meeting in September, where I have been warned it is very likely to be my last.

I have had therapy in the past which did not work out, and I am sure this was because the therapist was too pushy for me to get a boyf, at that time I was just dating / having sex on a casual basis, I explained to my therapist, that things never worked out because, I either did not want a relationship with them, or they did not want a relationship with me. She thought she could cure this, but when it became apparent that I was not going to settle, she lost interest, and when I told her that I was going to have a long break from men, I got a letter saying I was being discharged from therapy and I was.

I get help from community health team, I see a nurse ( which varies) once a month and a consultant every 5 months or so, my consultant said that he does not think the CMHT can improve my life, I should be transferred back to my GP. MY gp says that I should just get on with my life? despite the fact that I am on ESA and am still not mentally functioning?

I think I would benefit from having a more structured mental health team, as I have seen 7 different nurses in less than one year, so it is obvs hard for me to open up to people if there is little chance of me seeing them again.

I honestly think the problem is, that I am a 36 year old woman that lives alone and I just need to find myself a man.

my consultant even said, your problem seems to be you have not found th right man yet and CMHT cannot really help you with that.

I am reminded that I have been given therapy, which did not work.

It seems the only way for me to get better is to find myself a man and get pregnant asap.

can anyone else relate?

I don't think that getting a boyfriend and getting pregnant would help your mental health. I also doubt that your therapist lost interest because you didn't want a relationship. That is really unlikely.
If you feel your mental health is not good and your team feel it is ok, manageable without treatment then you need to concentrate on convincing them. Not having a baby.

I volunteer, attend classes and I do have hobbies. Igave up on men 2 years ago to concentrate on other issues and to get better, it did NOT work, I am more lonely now that what I ever was. Plus I am older and my biological clock is ticking.

I am in a catch 22 situation, my last therapist kept on harping about the importance of relationships, (she was not impressed by my fleeting relationships). I have tried to find a relationship and gave it a break to concentrate on me. my mental health team, just went through the motions and now I am at stage where I feel a relationship is the only way.

Yes I would like a relationship, but I am also afraid of getting hurt.

I just feel stuck.

How about starting with friend relationships? Is there anyone where you volunteer who might like to do something one evening, a walk or whatever? If you can begin to develop friendships, the loneliness might be more manageable, and when you feel more connected to people eventually will go. Nothing wrong with trying to meet a man at the same time, but it seems highly unlikely that a man is the answer to your problems.