Just a bit of advice. My heads screwed.

[merrimug]

Hi all, well, been seeing bf for 10 months and I feel he can't/won't give me what I want, he is very loving and affectionate when we are together. We get on well and laugh a lot. But he won't say he loves me, when I brought the subject up of us wanting different things he said he doesn't want to move in or get married. I love him. I phone him every day. He doesn't call much. I feel I should end it as its making me unhappy. What do you lot think? I need a hug! Lol

Hi merri Hugs!!!....you are running after him way too much and therefore he doesn't have to bother contacting or running after you. You have told him how you feel and he has not responded with what you want to hear. Making it know that you want a future with him has scared him off I think as he is not ready or possibly does not feel that way about a future with you. Its only ten months which really is not very long to be having such a talk. He obviously feels that he has you where he wants you but might still be on the look out for something else?
Do you know what you should do.....stop phoning him totally. If he wants to contact you he will do so and it will feel a whole let better if he does the running. Don't make plans or arrangements with him, let him do all that. Don't talk about the relationship at all. Go out with your friends more. Be unavailable a lot more. If he wants to see you make sure your busy sometimes so he has to be let down. Let him arrange to see you at other times no just when he feels like it. You could finish it or you could change it around. Sometimes men treat you like this when you are too available. So don't be so available. Give this a try before you give up on the relationship.

To paraphrase- If you love someone let it go - if they come back to you , they are yours. If they don't, they never were.
A couple of years ago Shane Watson wrote a brilliant ( and funny) article in the Sunday Times Style section on the theme of ' he's just not that into you' . I so wish i had cut it out and saved it. Great advice on it.

I think you should let him go. Otherwise you'll be continuously hurt by his lack of feeling and unwillingness to commit. I don't think he'll come around through dropping off contact. I actually think 10 months is a decent amount of time to know what you want.

Let him go, he will not and is not making you happy. I would also suggest you read "Women who love too much" written by Robin Norwood.

Read up too on co-dependency, you do sound very co-dependent on him and that state is also unhealthy.

Merri what did you decide to do?

Sweetheart, I thought you'd decided to end it when you posted the same 3 weeks ago, and got broadly the same response... I'm sorry there's a mismatch between what you both want, and the only movement you can make is in the opposite of your preferred direction - but there it is.