Riots are less effective and just not enjoyable when there's only one of you!

[RiotsNotDiets]

Pathetic and desperate as it is, I'm starting this thread for advice on how to make friends.

I'm in my early 20s, I moved to a scummy little town when I was pregnant to be near STBXH's controlling family about 3 years ago.
We've split up now, and unfortunately I'm stuck here for at least another year until I finish my degree.

Before I met STBXH I was a bit of a party animal, I had loads of good weather friends and one very close friend, I was also very sporty.

Now I'm very isolated, with virtually no friends, certainly no one I could just call on a whim and arrange something that day, it seems to take a long time and lots of planning to convince people to spend time with me and these occurrences are few and far between. I also live a very sedentary lifestyle and have become very fat.

Up until the separation, my MIL was probably my closest friend, and depressingly now that I've split with my husband I don't even socialise with her anymore (BIL's GF seems to have replaced me).

I've been looking into joining sports clubs and things, but I'm limited because of my location and lack of transport. Also any socialising clubs/groups I've found on the internet seem geared towards older people.

I volunteer for a charity, but it is all done virtually with no human interaction, the charity does run events, but they tend to be in London and I can't really get to them.

I have made friends at uni, but we rarely socialise outside of uni, though I have tried to organise things. It's not a 'real' uni either IYSWIM, there's less than 20 people on the course and there's no student union or anything like that, no clubs to join or parties to go to.

I just feel very lonely and a bit pointless . I'm about this far away from posting sad song lyrics on facebook

I know there's no magic answer, and I should 'put myself out there' but I don't know how, every avenue I've explored has come to a dead end. It's frustrating.

About what to write, I found it best to be honest. Pick the thing you know will put some people off and include it!

I wrote my first profile as if I was marketing myself and it was a mistake! It meant I wasted time meeting people who I had no chance of forming a friendship with, often because we were on different sides of the political fence.

By the end I described myself as a "laid back, lefty, Guardian reading type" as I knew that would send some people running for the hills! But that those kinds of people were Tories exactly those I didn't really want to make friendships with.

Apart from that, try to sound approachable and friendly (if you are!). Include your DD's age, and say who you want to meet. (Are you looking for people with kids your DD's age or people with kids of any age).

You sound so clever and energetic, OP! I love your writing style, and I'm sure you will have no problems building yourself a social life, once you find the right pool to fish in and the practical arrangements you need in order to have time to socialise.

It will take a little time, though. Hang in there, it's worth it. Just try all the avenues you can think of, and don't get demoralised. People are naturally a bit lazy, and won't go out of their way to include you in stuff until they know you a bit better, so it pays to be persistent.

I split from my ex 2 years ago and knew vitually no-one. Now I have so many things to do and people to see that I have to fight to keep some time to myself! But it took a few months of slog work, talking to everyone I could, organising events, etc., with many knockbacks along the way.

You'll get there, and you'll do great. You're clearly too smart and fun not to!

hot what a lovely thing to say!

three i'll put some sort of agressive egalitarian reference in then. Can't be doing with intolerant people so best frighten off the racists, misogynists and homophobes from the off!

This is my first time posting using a phone so hope it works