Should I give it another go? Or take the hint....

[Kaliko1980]

Just moved to new area. Met a lady my age who Is also new to the area and seemed lovely, as we were both newbies we got together for lunch and coffee a couple of times and got on well (at least I thought so).

I text her seeing if she wanted to meet for coffee again but no response, I assumed she was busy / tired as she was heavily pregnant so I didn't take offence.

She text saying she had the baby (a general text sent to everyone I think, not a personal text just to me) and I sent a card to congratulate and enclosed a note saying it would be good to meet up as and when she was feeling up to it (appreciate the first few weeks after birth are for family / close friends).

A couple of months have passed and I have heard nothing, should I make another effort to get in touch or just leave it? Do you think she is just busy / tired from new baby or trying to tell me to get lost?! I don't have DC myself yet.

Just struggling to make new friends in new area and she seemed so nice and really thought we could be friends.

Take the hint, if she wanted to meet up again she would have been in touch by now.

Why don't you start some kind of evening class to make new friends.

Thanks, I thought so. Don't want to look desparate chasing someone who is not interested. Will leave the ball in her court I think.

Just feeling a bit sad as this has happened a few times I am starting to wonder why people don't want to be my friend? I consider myself to be a nice person, interesting, friendly etc.

Just makes me feel a bit sad.

You do tend to be very busy after just having had a baby and you don't know what else she may have going on on her life. I would not take it personnally, leave it a few more weeks and ask again to meet for a coffee and that you would love to meet her new DS/DD.

If she's just had a baby she might well have been in a fog for the first few weeks. Another text wouldn't hurt.

Gosh, after DS was born I took months and months to get back to people sometimes, including very old and dear friends. I certainly wouldn't take it personally. Depending on how the birth went, how breastfeeding has gone, how the baby is sleeping, etc, it can be so hard to keep up with the rest of the world.

That said, I'm not sure I'd initiate contact again. Tricky. Maybe once more? Or maybe not, but at least chalk it up as being due to her total unavailability rather than her not wanting to be your particular friend.

Yes it's her first baby so I imagine she is busy / tired etc. maybe I will drop her a friendly text saying hope she is getting on ok with new baby and just leave it at that. I won't suggest meeting up and just leave it up to her to suggest meeting up (if she wants to). Will leave ball in her court.

If I don't hear back I won't contact her again, but at least I've been friendly and tried.

She has also probably met lots of other new friends at NCT / baby activities whereas I am at work long hours so haven't had the opportunity to meet other local people.

I'm on DS2 and he is 14 weeks old. I am still finding that I'm failing to meet up with people and he is my second one! I think "oh I must see X" and then it is gone. I struggle to see my old and best friends, let alone newer ones. This doesn't mean I don't like them.

I would just send a casual text saying you hope she and the baby are well and to let you know if she wants to meet up for coffee anytime as you would love to meet the baby.

She may also be a bit tied to the house, and have interpreted your text as meaning "let's meet up in town somewhere" - and perhaps she's (like I was) in PJ's till 2pm with Weetabix stuck in her hair!

If you do mention meeting up in your followup text (or phone call) perhaps rephrase it as "would love to see you and baby" so that it leaves it open for her to say "call round on X".