I dont understand what stbexh is saying, any ideas?

[catkin14]

I met up with my middle DS tonight, he is 22.

He was telling me his father has been telling him that although I will be entitled to half of everything in our money 'pot', pensions etc, and that I therefore may end up initially with more money than him, he will get it back when he retires...
(we had been married v long time)
Does anyone understand what he is talking about?? Or is it just more crap from him??

Thanks from Confused : /

I believe he is assuming that because it you get half of the total he will get all his pension and therefore you will get more of the disposable assets. So initially you would have more money.

His pension can be split so that doesn't have to be true.

So to put it in numbers to explain it

Total fammilial assets valued at 100 and
pension was valued at 20

He is assuming you'd would get 50, Which you could spend now. Though obviously would have to sell things like houses todo so. And that he'd get 30 in money he could spend now and 20 in pension that he couldn't touch until he retires.

Does that make sense?

Of course his pension could be split and then in my example you'd both get 40 in spendable assets and 10 of pension

Should he really be discussing any of this with children, all be it grown up child?!

I don't think there is anything wrong with discussing finance with dc, especially when they are grown up. Mine are 21, 18 and 9 and we tell them on a need to know basis or a need to learn about basis.
It helps them understand the world and not make stupid mistakes like getting into debt and accepting credit. So far so good (touch wood).

Thanks for that. DS told him he didnt want to get involved in the money anyway so Exh stopped talking about it.

If i get half his pension, for example, does it not have to stay as pension? or is it usable immediately? Am I being dim?
What confused me was that he seemed to be saying that he would somehow get the pension money he lost to me back..?

Yup if you get half of the pension it has to stay as pension.

Another example of the split to help

house = 60
Pension =20
Everything else = 20 (100 in total)

So if you got half of everything you'd get.
30 of the house
10 of the pension and
10 of th everything else. (50 in total)

But if he got all the pension (money that can't be touched until retirement)
You could get
40 of the house
None of the pension
10 of the everything else (50 in total)

What I think he is saying is that because pension can't be touched until retirement you will have more accessible cash before retirement but it will even up once he retires.

Sorry I'm shattered so not sure I'm explaining it well to you.

Think I get it but not sure I can explain it any clearer! But yes - pensions stays as pensions, but the 'pot' can be transferred between the two of you.

Say you both got half the assets - he might have a larger proportion of the pension assets, in which case you would have a larger proportion of the cash...

But then if he had more of the pension pot, then he would be getting more in a pension when he retired.

yes thanks, that is what I thought, but im not sure he is seeing that way.
I really wanted to check I hadnt got it wrong.
Thanks all : )

Have you got a solicitor Catkin?

Is 50% going to be enough to meet your needs?

I don't know anything about your circs btw, just make sure you are getting appropriate legal advice.