am i a bitch????

[redbull]

cant beleave im going to say this but dp and my mom have told me that im a bitch and i was thinking am i?????

the thing i do is when i have problems with anyone iwill moan about them to someone else the reason i do this is i HATE confrontations and feel better when i have got ot of my chest

eg1) friend came round sunday with her kids and we both have children with ASD after they went i was upset and angry by things that had happened tryied moaning to dp about it and i get told though was your friend why do you have to be like that, i love my friend to bits but her parenting skills are not brill so it had resulted in our ds getting hurt so i wanted to moan abouy it.

eg2)me and dp had BIG row the other week so phone my mom and friend to tell them, then i feel a bitch for talking about him behind his back.

Am i a bitch???

No, you're not a bitch. Everyone needs to let off steam about the stresses and frustrations of life, especially with an SN child I would imagine. That's what family and friends are there for. If your family aren't being supportive that's a pity. I find MN helps

I think it's ok to say what you think about other people to your DP/DH...after all they're meant to be your best friend and if they know you well they'll know you're also capable of great kindness. Not in front of the children though.

Personally I wouldn't moan to my family about DP because I don't want them to think less of him IYKWIM but then I'm not that close to my family in that way.

Neither makes you a bitch.

thankyou greensleeves

that is what i have tried to tell them and i just hate the thought of upsetting them by how i feel at the time but for some reason my mom and dp easpessialy think im a right cow by talking about others behind their back.

they then make me feel MAJOR paranoid that im a right cow/bitch and then i really hate my self

My dh hates it when I moan to him too, he thinks I should just talk to the person in question. What men don't understand is that us women need to moan, it helps lower our stress levels and deal with things that bother us. They on the other hand are more confrontational, they either say something or walk away, they hardly ever moan though!
That's why you need a gaggle of girlfriends to moan to - men are bloody hopeless!

Nope..!!! I am quite similar tbh and I am sure so is 99% of the population if they are truthful.

My friends are brill and I have one close friend BUT there are times when I speak to dh about her and what she's done etc and dh does the same to me...I also speak to dh about my parents and vice versa.

It doesn't mean I am a bitch or that I hate the people I talk about it..it's just human nature that you "sound" off about some people.
TBH it's when you start loosing friends that you need to start worrying..

DH & I are always having chats about how " x isn't as good at X as they make out" etc....

thankyou every one im feeling so much better now.

does it make me a bitch if i laugh at the woman across the road for what she weard though???

nope thats called entertainment.. pgrin].

sorry should say for what she wears!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm the same
i'd rather moan to dh than lose a friend
especially if i'm just having a bad day

LOL SHHH!!!!!!!!!

only if u laugh in front of her

your dp needs to do "understanding women 101"

your mum should know better

but why cant dp or my mom see it like that on sunday night i phoned to moan about froends kids and i got back "well if you are goung to be bitchy and moan about her behind her back then maybe you shouldnt have them round anymore and stop seeing them" not the reply i was looking for

I don't think so redbull, unless you do alllllllllll the time. I think women do don't they??

I would love to have a big moan about my mate at the mo who just winds me up sometimes but hey hoy, don't thinkt he kids s'll take much notice.

you see thats part of the problem im allways moanong about someone beleave im not perfect and i know im not but things that people do really irrate me and makes me angry and upset i just think how can they do/be like that

put it this way...she is probably saying the same things about you...! Thats the way I look at it. I think only a saint wouldn't moan about someone..!!!!! Even then I wouldn't believe them .

redbull - sorry but your mum sounds like a self righteous pain. we all need to sound off

I think men do it because they think we are telling them our problems and its their job to find a solution. so they say stuff like "well just tell her how you feel" or "dont see her aagain if it bothers you that much"

oh god she is she will phone me up in tears about my dad been very unhappily married for years and i will listen but i have a problem with dp she will tell my dad straight away, or if i have a problem with my dad (most days) and i try telling her i get back i dont want to hear if you have a problem with your dad then tell him your self.

maybe thats where the problem is with my mom with it she is very opinonated and says what she thinks to peoples faces but i cant do that im not built like it

If another woman said that to me I would think she meant " Shut up so I can tell you my problems which are much more interesting and important than your trivial complaints"

Aren't you tempted to not to listen to her moans and just say " Well if you are that unhappy then just leave him then"??

its really infuriating every weekday morning she will phone to see if ds got on the school bus ok then phones every night to see how his day went at school so in a way she wants to know every detail of our lives but when i do moan i get told im being a cow

i really feel a cow noe for sying this about her

ive told her to leave him but she wont

ds has recently gone back to school from breacking his leg at school on his 2nd day back i got a call of the school to say that ds has had his head slammed in the bathroom door but he is fine i phone my mom and get told im at work i have an important job to do i have my own worrys i dont want you phoning here making me panic like that.

I'm the same, I moan and moan about people rather than confront them head on, I usually end up winding myself up even more though.