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Original poster

When DH works away so much... We're finding it so tough

14 replies

Piffle · 31/05/2006 12:45

5 days a week, some weeks he gets home on Fri 9pm has to leave sunday 5am
He works in Hants, we live in Lincs
Relocation is not an option.
He is doing up his cv, but he is on 3 mth notice with his job and would have to work it, which would mean at least another 3 mths and he has not even started searching for a job yet.. because he is too bloody busy
When he gets home he is knackered, snaps at my ds (12) who is really starting to turn against him and now wants to go live with his natural dad.
I cope fine with the kids on my own tbh, I miss him a lot, I haveone or two casual friends here, he is often the only adult I speak to week to week. He then returns home and I'm expecting a break from being a mum 24/7 for 5.5 days and nights (esp last week when dd had serious cough all night and day and I was ill as well) but he wanted to chill out as well.
WE had a frank and open discussion, he knows it is wrecking us bit by bit and has said he will sort the job out asap
I hope he does

OP posts:
FioFio · 31/05/2006 12:47

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joanna4 · 31/05/2006 12:50

My hubby works away too most weeks 2 0r 3 nights then a big break of not at all.This is always the way it has been for us so used to it.We survive by taking the weekend as family time and make concious plans for the next weekend so we all have something to look forward to.

MeAndMyBoy · 31/05/2006 12:57

Offering you my sympathy too Piffle. DH has spent the last 12 months in a job that involves him working away all or most of the week most weeks and it is so hard. Was wrecking our relationship too. Him being away was the normal bit and it felt weird him being at home.

DS used to cry when he came in to our room and DH wasn't there again - he's 3. Dh has changed jobs - about 2 weeks ago - but was the hardest 12 months of my life. I think the notice period may be easier because you would know that you were on the last leg and that things were going to change? IYSWIM fingers crossed he is able to sort out something very quickly for you both.

Original poster
Piffle · 31/05/2006 13:16

Thanks :)
We moved here as he got a transfer with his company up here. Then they got bought out by US firm who then asked him to oversee a project down south and then made him deputy manager...
ho hum
with no payrise...
with longer hours, he is often working 70-90 hr weeks, they have put him on long term assignment expenses so even the financial perks have gone
I'm just really pissed off tbh..
He is likely to take a pay hit up here though - he is Southern salary, but we have agreed we would happily downsize where we are currently than to move nearer to his job...

OP posts:
joanna4 · 31/05/2006 13:23

Can he not take a week off to totally hit the job situation or put his cv on that website sorry cant remember name of it.

Original poster
Piffle · 31/05/2006 13:25

nice idea but guess what
The centre he is DM for has its official opening in July and he has to work every hour god sends to get it ready in time for all the press and dignitaries coming to open the sodding place.
Then its the sodding airshow and clients galore, then they'll be contracts and displays gained from the sales at the airshow, then it'll be...
August when he has two weeks off and we're going camping with no phone no laptops.
Ridiculous situation

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 31/05/2006 13:26

it's very difficult Sad - think you have to be very careful that you don't start leading completely different lives (iykwim).

hope he can sort something out soon

joanna4 · 31/05/2006 13:38

If it continues in this vein he will work himself into the ground and be no use to anyone especially himself.Could he not even tag a couple of days in somewhere there has to be a way round this.

Original poster
Piffle · 31/05/2006 13:46

He will get days off in lieu he already has 7 days owing, he has 5 days carried over from last yr as he was too busy to take his holiday quota last yr!
He cannot take any days until August although he will get weekends off after the airshow

OP posts:
anniemac · 31/05/2006 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Piffle · 31/05/2006 15:00

With ds its ok, and we're on great terms with his dad, I think he just fancies the change.
He knows he would see sod all of his dad as his dad works away 3 days a week, so its moot point really.
I think it was just a symptom IYSWIM, he is spending all summer hols with his dad though which will be good for him.

OP posts:
anniemac · 31/05/2006 15:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Piffle · 31/05/2006 15:20

Yes, must not grumble he's an ace lad :)

Have texted dp and asked him to come home tonight for some loving Blush and macaroni cheese.
He said two such tempting offers he'll try to wangle an early finish
Bless him - I like being with him, I really do miss his company

OP posts:
joanna4 · 31/05/2006 15:27

Aw have a lovely night.

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