Transsexual friend.

[MissBrown]

Hi all.
Not sure if this is the best place to post so forgive me if not.
I'll try to keep it concise!
I rent out a grazing space on my field to a lad who I have just found out is biologically female. He is only 17 so this must be a very difficult time for him. When I met him, he told me he was gay. We get on great and my kids love him. We ride our horses together and often chat about men off the tele and who we think is attractive.

However I have just found out that he was not born male. As far as I am concerned he is still the person I met. I couldn't give a monkeys as far as his sexuality or gender but my question is, should I tell him I know or let him tell me when he is ready and trusts me? I am around double his age so old enough to be his mum really and I do feel quite protective of him.

Any advice?

are you sure that what you heard is entirely accurate though?
probably best to continue as normal without mentioning it.

I can't think of an occasion in a horse-riding context when it would be appropriate to even raise the subject. I can't see why they need protecting either. Why not just keep taking him on face value?

Agree with the above, don't mention it he clearly values your friendship and must feel wonderful to just be himself he will probably tell you himself in his own time.

Yes I know it is true. I feel protective of him as he has told me about his mental health issues which are quite serious. I would consider us to be friends as well.

Thank you for advice. I will not mention anything. I don't think it is relevant to anything and if he wants to tell me he will.

Is he getting proper medical help for the MH issues? Does he have family? Seems to be telling you all kinds of very personal stuff at the moment which, whilst you may be happy to be a listening ear, has resulted in you feeling responsible for him. Friendship doesn't mean you have to be his therapist or in loco parentis A word of caution, that's all.

He has a fab mum and lots of friends. No surprise as he is a great guy. He hasn't told any details, just that he has mental health issues. As far as he knows, i know nothing about his situation. I think he wanted me to know as sometimes i don't see him for ages. He is under camhs i think as he is under 18 and does have regular weekly input with them.

Don't mention it unless he does. He may have shared other very personal stuff but this does not make this issue your business yet, if ever. He knows some people will guess or hear gossip. If and when he tells you you can respond warmly enough, but never offer support unless it is wanted as most trans people find that patronising.

Reminds me of a college friend back in the days. I was the only person in the entire college he trusted and shared a lot of personal stuff with me. I over heard he was Transsexual but not a word I said until after 2yrs when he was ready to bring up the topic.

Let your friendship flow. Just cause he shares a lot of personal stuff with you to me it sounds like he has a boundary of what to share and what not. Its a very sensitive topic so please give him time.