BF... Ideas above her station?

[Xavielli]

Hey all.

My mate is training to be a midwife and is in her second year. Some things she says really hack me off....

For example... DD was 2 weeks old (I have a DS who is 17months) we went out for lunch with the kids... DD cries so I get some hot water to heat her bottle... I am informed "You're not ALLOWED to make up bottles in advance anymore, you have to make them there and then" I was like ok... if it was good enough when DS was a baby its good enough for DD...(BTW i know it has been recommended that bottles be made up for each feed, asked HV why she said because some people think they can keep the milk for ages and the gp's keep getting narked that parents keep coming in with babie with Gastro for that reason)

At same incident... bottle had been in water say... 2mins... she said "how hot are you making that?" I say body temp... she says "well its done now" Ummm.... not from ice cold luvvy!!!

Now the one that really bit the biscuit for me....
Went to a BBQ on sunday... had just changed DS's nappy I come back and she says DD is wet... I felt her nappy and said she wasn't... she said she knew she was... I thought, right she isnt gunna quit till I change her so I did... DD must have pee'd in it once!!! Wasn't even wet inside let alone out. I said "see, knew she didnt need changing"....... My BF... the caring future midwife comes out with....

"You might be a Mum but I know more about nappies than you!"

I was livid!! So, have you changed atleast 4 nappies a day for 17months have you? Do you know how long they can wear a nappy before it becomes uncomfortable? Do you have to pay money for the bloody things every week to throw them away after one wee?

Sorry if this is an over reaction... I just feel that to a certain degree this is the general consensus amoung health officials who don't have children... "I am educated about these things so what would you know?"

What the hell happened to GP's and Midwives trusting a mothers instinct?

Sorry... rant over.

I got talking to a midwife at a wedding a few years ago. She had no children and told me that a women in labour is not in pain, it's all in her head???? Eh Hello??
I asked her how she could think that passing a giant melon through her g** wouldn't hurt? She didn't answer me.
You could tell your friend that you appreciate that she is 'trying to help' but that if you need advice you'll ask her. Or put your fingers in your ears and say 'la la la'

love the comment about her being an ideal candidate for being a hv

If a 'friend' called my son 'shitforbrains' even once, I would never speak to them or see them again. My DS does not need to hear that. No-one with even a bit of intelligence could speak that way to a child!

Blimey,just read the bit about what she calls your son. Sorry, but why on earth are you friends with her? I wouldnt allow a stranger talk to my kids that way....

Rude woman, incredibly so. Hope she has a child soon so you can make lots of patronising comments to her too.

Or just tell her you're not going anywhere near her until she wises up a lot.

She sounds hideous. Don't let her ruin your self confidence. No wonder midwives and HV's get a bad press, with people like that in the profession.

justb saw this:

'"shit bag" shit head" "shit for brains"'

She shouldn't be allowed near kids, that constitutes emotional / verbal abuse.

Also, I worked with loads of autistic kids and their famillies at Home Start, didn't mean that when I had an AS child I knew what I was doing AT ALL. I recognised it a bit earlier and knew a few support agencies, but working with is in no way the same as living with and never can be, not unless you're in a job where you do it 24 / 7 and all your emotional, financial and mental energy are tied up in it. Which frankly, is pretty unlikely.

ohhhhhhh myyyyyyyy god...she calls you son sh*t for brains!!!

the other stuff she does is,in my mind ,regular ignorance/arrogance zzzz...but saying that to a kid !!!

she needs to re-do a year [ot two] i think!

I don't understand - what is wrong with making the bottle up and keeping it in the fridge until needed? Or in a cool bag? And even more I don't understand why you shouldn't boil the water the night before, make up bottles and add the formula at the last minute. What are you meant to do? Boil the water, let it cool and then add the powder - great when baby needs feeding NOW and that would take, oooh, 45 mins.

Can't believe she verbally abuses your child like that. If someone said that about DD (behind her back, let alone to her face), I'd have difficulty not slapping them into the next century.

"...a women in labour is not in pain, it's all in her head..." Hollow laughter. Someone like that doesn't deserve to have a job. Besides - even if something is all in your head, doesn't mean that it isn't real to you.

I also am horrified at the whole shit bag thing - and my oldest bro used to refer to his oldest ds as "son of Beelzebub" and "you little shitbag" but only when he was v small - and this child was the most delightful baby you could ever hope to meet, bless him.

I would never permit another person to refer to my child in those terms, I'm not critcising you for doing it, just reinforcing the point that if you wanted to say "hey, don't do that" that would be quite reasonable.

As to woman in labour not being in pain, I suggest amputating the limb of her choice, and let's see whether that might sting a bit.