Losing the plot

[Pippinlongsocks]

I have been making plans since Jan this year to leave my abusive H. We have been together 30 years. It has taken masses of courage to get this far. We had sold the house, I had bought a home for myself and my DS. Impending freedom looked set for mid July. Although he was still being vile towards me with his usual head games (we are all still living together) I was getting through it. On Monday I lost the buyer for our home. I am devastated. I cannot stop crying. I cannot go to work. The rising panic I have been able to keep at bay all these months is coming out now at the thought that my dream is disappearing. I hate to sound so melodramatic but I feel I am losing a grip on my mental health. My family and friends are being supportive. I could move out with my DS and live with my brother but H would let the house go to pot and I am terrified of it not selling etc. I feel so trapped I don't know what to do. For the first time I just feel like getting under the duvet and not coming out. I am letting my DS down but being like this. I tried to get an appointment at the doctors but there are none today. I am meant to return to work tomorrow. This weekend was supposed to be a big birthday weekend and I just want it all to go away. Sorry to whine on. Just have to get it out somewhere.

oh pippin what a horrible setback. But that's all it is - a setback. Hang on to the fact that you've got the strength to get out after all these years. You may have to reduce the price on your house, It may take a bit longer but you'll get there.

I would go and stay with your brother rather than sit home wracked with anxiety and feeling trapped. If you are not stressed out by having to live with him you'll probably be better able to speed up the house-sale and crack the whip with the estate agents. Even if you have to drop the price to get a quick result, it's better than feeling the way you do now.

Good luck

Oh you have my sympathy :(

I went to pieces when I realised I was being forced back to the marital home (STBXH froze our joint bank account).

You will get through it. Get to your GP and get some counselling if you can. I had that and CBT and a lovely MNetter offered me free life coaching (that was a couple of years ago and I hope she reads this and recognises me :))

Get onto your Estate Agent and get him working on finding another buyer. This is not the end, just a blip and it will pass.

Thanks for your messages, I got myself in the shower, did my hair and put some make up on as it is more difficult to keep crying with mascara on. Feeling better now. Thanks for listening Xxx

I was in a very similar position. I cries for a day then put the house straight back on the market and sold it within a month and got the full asking price.

It meant that I ended up in a far better house than the one I had lined up and I am SO glad it fell through in hindsight!

Chin up, don't let the bastard grind you down, I know it's hard but I believe some things happen for good reason though we can't see it at the time.

Maybe stay somewhere else as much as you can in the meantime while keeping an eye on things.

You will be ok and all this will be a distant memory soon I promise.

Hope you're doing okay Pippin?

Thanks for the concern tallwivglasses. I am doing well. Have re-sold house for a lower offer but that is still workable financially. Luckily for me I have some great siblings and their other halves who literally put me back together again after my melt down. Now just waiting with every part of me crossed to get through the house process so that I can really "bust out of the compound"!!!!! Thank you for thinking about me. Xxxx

Thank you tall .... I know from personal experience it isn't comfy going round like this but entirely necessary!!!! Xxx