This is my first post. I really need help. I am desperate.
I am the biggest fool. Been with H for 27 years, married for 25 years. He was my first boyfriend. Always knew he lied but kept giving him second (and third and fourth!) chances and believing his excuses. I thought he basically loved me and our 3 DC. Like I said I must be the most gullible person alive.
About 18 months ago I found more lies and it really was just one lie too many, I had had enough and asked him to leave. I was so worried about my youngest DD, she is a sensitive soul and I wanted to make the split as easy on her and the older DCs as possible. They really have to come first. My older two have had big years, my oldest DD's final year at Uni and my DS's GCSE's, so I wanted home to be as settled as possible and I've kept trying to ask H to leave quietly and say he's working away or whatever - no big dramatic scene.
I have repeatedly asked him to leave and it was like mental torture - him making me go over everything again and again and him denying everything and making me repeat things. Eventually I told him to go when my DS finished his last GCSE which was on Monday. I asked where he was going to and he said he hadn't had time to find anything. After 18 months.
I don't know what to do. He wont go. He is going to keep fobbing me off and making excuses, using the DC to keep me quiet. I haven't many friends here as we have moved into the area, so I haven't told anyone that we are separated. It's awful and he doesn't seem to care that I am in a state. I am trying my best to hold it together but I think I have been fooling myself for years, he only cares about himself. I go upstairs as soon as he comes in from work and I don't want this to continue.
What can I do?