Please help me think this through.....am so confused!

[2anddone]

Hi. I posted a couple months ago as h had moved out completely out of the blue and we had just told the dc (aged4 and 7). I got some really good advice and now I am back as I need some more!
When h moved out I was unsure whether there was anybody else I am almost 100% sure that there is noone else I am also positive that he is following 'the script'. He is still living at his mums and is moving into his own flat next week. Since he moved out he has seen the children twice a week coming to our house and every other weekend taking them out for the day. He has been very flexible about what days he visits and will happily have dc while I go out. A few weeks ago I took dc away and he came for a day visit and stayed one night. We slept together and it was better than it has ever been (sorry tmi). Since then we have slept together a couple times a week and he has always gone back to his mums before the dc wake up.
He told me that this flat is not the end of us but a way for us to spend time alone together without dc to get to know each other again.
He says he is worried that in 15 years when the dc move out we would split up again if we don't make time for each other now. I am really confused I know I love him, I love spending time with him but is he leading me on or could he be telling the truth that he wants to spend more time with me?

he wants a fuck and your there - tell him to fuck off, have something about you, fake confidence and tell him that he can have a little time and his own space, but your not being his fuckbuddy - that you have self respect and you have consiered what happened and it was a mistake.

tell him this even if you dont mean it

that you will not do that again, beucase you want to forge your new life, your looking forward to it with enthusiasm and you want a new man in your life, and fucking your ex h makes things complicated.

you want a nice little family, you want the man he used to be

he's a shit

fuck him off and stop showing him your a doormat

It's called ' having his cake and eating it' I'm afraid.

So.... he doesn't want to do the family thing full time? Doesn't want to live with you? You're not good enough for that sort of commitment but you're fine to shag as and when he's got a spare evening?

Get rid of this idiot. Who does he think he is? He made his decision and he left. This half way house is confusing for you, confusing for your children and is allowing him to have everything on his terms.

Tell him to sling his hook, stop engaging with him and ensure he has your children at his mothers from now on.

The alternative - that is , you keep on doing what you're doing at the moment, will lead to years of wasted time, upset and worry for you. Mark my words.

And you deserve more.

This is the one who's been unfaithful throughout your marriage isn't it?

Come on OP, you know the answer to this one.

Agree with everything above. You're currently being cast in the twin role of single parent and mistress.... all the responsibility, all the hard work and expected to drop 'em when he fancies a bit. He gets to play the gay bachelor, which sounds like his default setting. Whatever you want to call it, it's not 'love'. You'll end up hating yourself.

You've got to be kidding? Do you really need us to answer that!

In terms of advise, i agree with everyone up thread! He's using you for a shag when it suits him! Very clever of him to leave before dc wake up!

Cut your losses, reduce your heartache, do not allow him into your home, move on!!

He's having his cake and eating it as well currently.

Do not be a part of his game anymore. Look at your own behaviour as well, why are you allowing yourself to be used by him like this?.

If that was the case, he'd have worked through with you before he left.
He'd have booked weekends away or sent the children to his mum's.

It's quite possible he really had someone lined up, but it didn't happen as he wished.

Yes, he's stringing you along.
Personally, I wouldn't allow him in the house again if it is that confusing and tempting for you.

Thanks everyone that's pretty much what I thought you would all say but just needed to hear it iyswim! Time to get strong and stop taking shit
Thanks x