So angry with my BF I could leave him

[BambieBabe]

I am so angry with my BF, over the last couple if months things have gotten more difficult in our near 2year relationship.

He doesn't seem to find sex important and has actually said "sex isnt even important why are you so bothered" when I've breeched the subject and now I'm losing my interest in it because he's made it seem so important which has hurt my feelings and has made me feel like I'm at fault in some way, or that I'm some sex maniac. I'm pretty sure sex is an important part of a relationship.

He has just started a new job at a bank and I understand he's tired and stressed but still... We're 19-20 years old not 70!
I'm also really confused and emotional at the moment because of a ridiculous Nexplanon implant which has had disastrous effects. I feel vulnerable and need someone to turn to, him being the main person because A. He's my partner and B. everyone else seems too tied up in their own affairs.

Basically the reason I'm writing this now is because I asked him to come over tonight for a cuddle and to stay (can't afford place together yet as we're only students) I really need to be reassured and just have him here to comfort me and he hasn't bothered, he's come up with some rubbish excuse and has basically called me silly for being annoyed about it. Apparently I've blown everything out of proportion but it feels like the last straw.

I am livid. i felt like telling him never to bother again. i feel like bursting into tears. Am I being stupid? If its the implant talking, shouldn't he still be here anyway so we can talk about it?

You aren't being stupid, but in a way, neither is he.

If he isn't interesting in sex, or doesn't want to spend lots of time with you then that's his right.

You're both 19-20 years old. Young and vibrant. If it isn't working then it's ok to take a break or split and find someone else. You're young and life is too short to waste it.

The fact that he dismisses your emotions after you show him how you feel is not good. I can see why that would upset you. But you can't force him to do what he doesn't want to do.

I got the same implant in Nov and haven't been suffering the way you seem to be. Are you sure it's the implant that's ballsing up your emotions, or is it your circumstances?

It doesn't sound like much of a relationship to me TBH. I would be really hurt by directly asking a BF for help and him not only refusing to give it but actually dismissing my feelings while doing so.

Needles is right about one thing. You cannot change another person's behaviour. You either decide whether you can live with them as they are or, if you decide you can't, choose to end it and move on.

Look at it this way

Do you think for some reason you cannot end this relationship even though it isn't making you happy ?

What possible reason could there be for that ?

If he isn't bothered about your needs and dismisses your hurt as silly, then that's a bit of a non-starter really isn't it. As you say yourself, even if it is "the implant talking", the fact that you are feeling small and need company should be enough to make him concerned about you.

At least, that's how it would be in a marriage of many years' standing. Two years at 19/20 is not necessarily a foundation for life, however. Maybe he's just not that into you any more? And if the sex is already unsatisfactory, what do you think it would be like ten years in with DC? Throw this one back in, he doesn't sound like a keeper. No one should really settle for someone who is dismissive of their sexual or emotional needs, but particularly no one of your age.