Delusional DH

[MsLadyLove]

He is very stressed at the moment with job, not talking to family members, im pregnant and having our house redone.
When we have a discussion about things he will start shouting infront or our 2 yr old and tonight he even punched his own fist trying to get his point across. I tell him to stop shouting calmly but he replies he isnt shouting. He also founds a strange way of blaming me for anything that goes wrong.
Im currently sat outside our house in the car just so i dont have to interact with him.
Im also 9 months preg and his behaviour makes me feel like crying all the time.
May i just add i have no fear he would ever hit me.
How do i get through to him. When i try to talk he shuts off.

I really would like to know whether he is taking his stress out on other people too, or only on you.

If the former, HE needs to take himself to a GP, or find what coping measures will work for him (it is emphativally NOT your job to do this for him).

If the latter, then he is a bully, and you need to question why you want to stay with such a man, who clearly has no respect for you as a person.

HotDAMN I think your last paragraph is a bit OTT, if it isn't normal behaviour for the OP's DH, then to say he has no respect for her as a person is just wrong.

People you feel the most comfortable with are often those to whom you turn in time of crises or stress, it is natual to do so. I don't think there is anyone on MN who can genuinely say they they haven't said things to their spouse/partner or used a tone that they would not use to a work colleague or friend.

From a 10 line post you have analysed his and her lives and come up with the solution that he is potentially a bully. There really is not enough information to draw conclusions. The OP says her DP is incredibly stressed with work, the OP herself is 9 months pregnant. That combination will not help. Even then I'm not saying his actions are appropriate or correct, but to put suggestions of her leaving him beggers belief.

Are your family sensible and helpful, OP, or are they the sort who think it's a woman's job to Please Her Man? If they are the useful sort, then tell your H that he can either behave himself or he will be put out of the family home. IF your family are useless and likely to tell you to suck cock more and not answer back, get on to Women's Aid for help and support.

@bobbywash. When a woman is sat outside in a car because she doesn't want to be in the same room as their shouting, punching partner, it's gone beyond a 'tone'. When she's spending all her time crying as a result of this behaviour, it is offensive to accuse her of overreaction brought on by pregnancy. Men who shout, swear and punch things to make a point are following a well-worn DV behavioural pattern that sadly, and far too often, goes from 'stressed', to verbal abuse, to physical abuse.... a potentially dangerous flashpoint in other words.

My (D)H gets like this. He shouts but insists he isn't shouting. Occasionally exhibits aggressive, angry behaviour in front of 2.5yr old. I also have family living next door to me and have also threatened to record him during a row so he can hear what he sounds like. Strange coincidences!
my coping mechanisms over the years have been to basically cut him off midflow. I have had too many horrible angry rows with him where I have been screaming back at him in anger and distress. Too tired for all that shit now and don't care enough.if it happens now in front of the children (have 3mth twins as well) i hiss furiously at him that the conversation/argument is over. if he continues to bluster and rage, i casually remove myself and the children from the room.if the children are not there, I do the same, just say firmly the conversation is over and it really takes the wind out of his sails.I also have a word the next day (when he's calmer) to say it is not acceptable to blow up like that and I'm not going to tolerate it. I'm not saying I don't ever rage back at him any more, but they have definitely decreased in number and I feel a lot more in control. Really recommend talking to your folks about him. Mine all know what H is like and offer lots of support/venting opps.my H also likes to brush the row under the carpet the next day, acts all casual and like its no big deal. It SO is, but you are 9mths pregnant, I understand the advice to leave or kick him out but it's difficult. Just don't let him get to you. Easier said than done. By the way I namechanged for my last post but haven't been able to get to my PC to change it back. Will do soon. Pm if you want to, our DHs sound v similar!