Is it normal to feel that you aren't a very good mother?

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Not all the time but some days? Please say it is

My dc is almost five months and he used to be so chilled out but in the last couple of weeks he has become very demanding. He doesn't want to be put down, hates me to be away from him - even for a short time, wants cuddled, carried and entertained ALL the time.

He cries lots but its nothing serious as as soon as I lift him he laughs and giggles.

I posted a thread on parenting earlier but a few more things have come to mind.

Could it be that I'm not a very good mum? The other day when I went to visit a potential child minder he was crying and thrashing for no reason I could fathom; the child minder asked to hold him and he fell asleep on her straight away- he never does this on me.

Today I was out for coffee with a mum who had her baby with her (same age as ds). Her baby was so happy and chilled but mine just thrashed and his whole body went rigid until I lifted him.

Sometimes I just can't wait for bedtime. I feel like a shitty mum. Today I used ready made cartons of formula milk as I just couldn't get organised. I'm a teacher so I'm not normally a disorganised person.

The other mum I was out with today is breastfeeding and had her baby in a sling, I couldn't do either - sling gave me severe neck pain.

I took him with me for a beauticians apt this aft but he screamed throughout it. I would just love some time to chill out but I have a 5 month old baby so I feel selfish for wanting time away from him.

I think I am missing the motherly gene, I don't feel like I'm very good at mothering but I really love him but I'm just not good at being totally selfless.

I feel like I'm fumbling in the dark somedays. I started out being a relatively good mum I think but for some bizarre reason I'm starting to find it harder now.

Sorry, I'm rambling. My ds is absolutely well looked after, in case anyone is thinking I'm neglecting him. We walk, read, cuddle, have baby massage, play on floor, I do everything I can think of to make him happy.

I think I need some words of wisdom.

It's just the accumulation of things. It's loneliness. It's maybe feeling a little bit conned? It will pass when your DS gets a bit older. Stay posting on mumsnet, it's one of the few places where women are honest about their lives and feelings!

My now 7mo went through a patch of this at the same age, it was right before he learned to properly manipulate toys - he needed me to entertain him because he wasn't able to do it himself.

With all due respect, what carrier do you have? The ones available on the high street aren't generally well suited to older, heavier babies so it may be the carrier's fault not yours iyswim :) Having him eg on your hip in a ring sling where he can see out might help? My ds's favourite place is wrapped high up on my back like a little parrot!

He wants cuddles and he wants them from you - you're doing it right (and a dab of calgel on the gums doesn't harm them either just in case!)

I had the baby bjorn carrier.

My dh is very supportive but he just says its a phase all babies go though and I need to relax.

I'm going back to work when baby is 7 months and I want to make the most of our time, but sometimes it's hard.

I don't have anyone to help as my mum lives 2 hours away.

Absolutely, 100% normal.

Don't spoil these special (yet simultaneously dreadful) days worrying about it - tell yourself you are bloody awesome and hold your head high.

Yes it's very normal. I particularly empathised with this:

...I really love him but I'm just not good at being totally selfless.

Loads of women are like this, because I've said the same to real people and MNers () and had many assurances that they were the same. Not everyone is like this but actually, I think a mother that can have a life outside their baby is refreshing, especially to any childless friends, or people in general. My BF laments massively the complete loss of connection with another friend since she's had her children. BF said she talks the whole time about her and her children's problems now; doesn't ask how BF is .

Shit that's best friend, not boyfriend. I forgot the alternative acronym.

OP, if you do feel like this a lot, you might be suffering from PND. A visit to your doctor might be a good idea.

Completely normal. My best friend had the most chilled out baby and he was a boisterous handful as a child. My son was very hard to settle, feed, sleep, cuddle...and is now the most chilled out kid you've ever met. Go figure :)

yes its normal. kids are hard work its so relentless at that age. try to get out and do something for you for a few hours, have a break and give yourself a chance yo miss him a bit.
my ds was a really good baby and still is a lovely sweet and easy going child but sometimes i just want to be left alone. having to think of someone else before yourself at every point and in every decision takes some getting used to.
sometimes i get frustrated with having another person in such close contact all the time, as any other human being would kids get on your nerves at times and you need a break. then if i get a morning when he's not here and i can do my hair and makeup without 5thousand interruptions/questions its nice but i miss him.time apart makes you appreciate more.
is 5 months old enough to go in one of those door hanging bouncers?

Presumably, since your DH is convinced it's just a phase and you need to relax, he's offering to take a day off work to let you have a proper chill out and some time on your own?

Totally normal. TBH I think anyone who thinks they're a great mother is probably anything but. It's great to be a confident parent and to know that you have good parenting principles, but recognising that there is always room for improvement is vital if you're not going to take your eye off the constantly bouncing ball that is your child.

I knew you'd say babybjorn :o they're notorious for putting the weight on the wrong part of the shoulders and becoming uncomfortable once the baby gets to about 11lb. They're also not particularly supportive of the baby, they don't spread the weight like the less mainstream carriers do iyswim. Try your local sling meet for something that suits you better, you'll probably meet new, friendly people too (if yours is like my local one, there's always good cake!)

It won't solve the problem but it'll get you through this phase. For me it also cuts down stress because i get road rage pushing a buggy round shoos

Totally normal. DS is 17 now, and he tells me nowadays!

Ha! Dh has not offered to take a day off!

The first bit is so hard. Things will change and you might prefer the changes. I kept trying different things to help. I got three different slings. But some of it just changed by its self.

Five months is a long time - I would suggest firmly that he does take a day off. It's only a phase, after all!

Yes it's normal. We're all just muddling along really. Doing the best we can, making mistakes and thinking everyone else is doing a much better job than we are!!

This