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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Erection problems...

2 replies

MerryMargaret · 17/06/2013 19:54

My partner, who is in his 50s, has started taking medication to regulate his high blood pressure, which has the expected side effect for him of problems maintaining erections, or not being as hard. I appreciate that this is a huge knock to his self esteem and am, hopefully, managing to be supportive, take things very slowly and gently, and not put any pressure on him at all to perform. He has spoken to his GP who may change the medication in a couple of months, depending on how his blood pressure is reacting.

I know this sounds very selfish, and I wouldn't tell him, but I am also pretty devastated. We've only known each other 4 years, have the most wonderful relationship we both say we've ever had and, having kick started a sex life again after years of abstinence, the thought that it may now be over and I'll not experience PIV sex again makes me desperately sad. Anyone else managed to get through this together?

OP posts:
Dorisdisco · 17/06/2013 21:23

Hi
I know exactly how you feel. My husband finally told me of his erection problems after about 6months. He is Impotent and uses medication for sex. He was 37 so it was a shock. I am ok with it I suppose there isn't really a choice. I love him very much and he is a very generous lover although its quality not quantity. I do miss "normal" sex but feel unable to initiate in case it upsets him.
He knows you miss Piv ....so does he. I know it's hard to discuss this with him but its important to. I wish I pushed a little harder to get him to talk about it and it's something I'm working on.....
I feel lonely as its not the sort of thing you discuss with anyone and sad as I will never have Piv again.
I know this all sounds very selfish and I don't mean to sound like I'm moaning about it but the men do tend to forget that when they were diagnosed so were the wives.

gateauauxfruits · 17/06/2013 22:20

Can he not try a. exercise- and diet-based methods to reduce bp and/or b. the meds beginning with V and C (normally caught by spam traps) designed to counter his erection problem?

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