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Original poster

Objective opinions please

8 replies

threelittlebabies · 30/05/2006 15:00

DH and I having a right old barney over the last few days about dd's imminent christening. He wants to ask his twin cousins to be god parents. I don't want him to ask anyone from his side of the family, which may sound harsh. But we had two of his cousins for ds 3 years ago. Neither they, not any of his large extended family, see ds and dd unless we take them to see them 40 miles away, ring to see how they are,remember birthdays, send them a birthday card etc etc. I don't want this to happen again, and want to ask people who dd knows already, who are in her life and who will take being a godparent seriously.
So, if some of you could offer your take on it- am I wrong? Have to say, there is so much more to this, I'm not just stropping or being awkward, have tried to get his family to take an interest but they don't.

OP posts:
adozenroses · 30/05/2006 15:09

Can you compromise by having one of his cousins and two of your choosing. ( I can't remember if it's a male and two females for a girl or the other way round!!) At least this way you are both getting what you want and you should have a great day.

Caligula · 30/05/2006 15:10

I think you're being harsh if it is two different cousins - just because one lot are hopeless, doesn't mean all of them are.

But it is your turn this time, isn't it? After all, if he had choice of godparents last time, it's your choice this time.

From his logic, he may be hopefully thinking that his family will get mroe invovled if he asks them to be god parents. But it didn't work last time.

Cappucino · 30/05/2006 15:14

without wishing to turn up as some mad evangelical nutter, I think you should pick the people you know whose faith is strongest

they are god parents after all. they're the people your children are supposed to go to, at whatever age, to answer questions about faith and to help them if they want to deepen their own faith.

Original poster
threelittlebabies · 30/05/2006 15:19

Thanks for responses. In reply:

For ds we had 4 godparents- 2 men and 2 women, so had planned to have same for dd. I did choose some- 1 male, 1 female- who are fantastic godparents, which probably makes it worse for dh tbh.

I do actually really like the two he wants (both female) but again they don't bother with us. Wonder if it would be different? Also one is pregnant, and I think she'll be too busy with her own family (fair enough) to see much of us.

You are right Caligula, it doesn't mean these will be the same as last lot, but to me it doesn't look promising. I have chosen 1 male and 1 female, as for ds, so dd wouldn't be the same as him. Does that make me sound mad?! Don't answer that Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
threelittlebabies · 30/05/2006 15:22

Not at all Cappucino, I agree totally. 3 out of 4 are catholic (which dd will be) and my friend is a regular church goer. I had suggested another cousin of dh and his wife, who we get on very well with, but for some reason dh isn't keen. He spent a lot of time with his twin cousins when he was younger, maybe that has something to do with it.

The thing is, the other week dh suggested he ask another of my friends as one of his choices, but when I suggested that last night he had a strop.

OP posts:
Original poster
threelittlebabies · 30/05/2006 19:13

bumping for other opinions before I agree to go along with it!

OP posts:
fattiemumma · 30/05/2006 19:43

I actually think that being a god parent has a lot more involved than jusyt being part of a ceremony.

you shoudl ask the people wh you feel with have the biggest input in your chidls life and who you feel will be able to offer good guidance and support throughout your childs life.

i always thought that god parents are the poeple you want your child to be bale to speak to as they grow up about things they cant necessarily talk to their parent about.

It doesnt osund like DH's cousins fit that bill so no i wouldnt want them to be a godparent.
I dont see why it needs to be "your choice" and "his choice" imean surely you both want what is best for your child.

can you not sit and discuss what you both see as the role of a godparent. set out a list of, wll job specifications if you like. and see who fits the criteria best...thast who you choose.

Tortington · 30/05/2006 20:38

unless your adament on picking somone who will actually take an interest in your childs christian faith.

then it dunt right matter - just get pissed

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