mmm... ready for a relationship? I'm not so sure!

[oopsadaisymaisy]

I cancelled my date today. I'm OD and have quite a bit of interest. I've just realised today I feel really overwhelmed at the prospect of getting into what could potentially be a relationship. It's actually making me anxious and I would quite like to stick my head in the sand and avoid, avoid, avoid. Grrr.. but I want to have a nice relationship. Is this is feel the fear and do it anyway situation?

Well, dating is supposed to be fun, isn't it?
If you feel like that, maybe you're not ready.
How long have you been single, how long was your previous relationship? (sorry if you have other threads I find it hard to keep track of everyone's stories)

I felt the same after coming out of what was a very dysfunctional relationship. I had taken a year out, done some counselling etc, and gone a long way to heal myself, but the start was still terrifying.

Start with a coffee, accept that the guy you are meeting is NOT going to be the one, and not going to be a relationship.
Fundamentally it doesn't matter what he thinks of YOU, it's more about what YOU think of HIM.

You WILL have a nice relationship, when you realise that YOU call the shots as much as the next person. you have more control than you think.

Thanks both. I've been single nearly 9 years and a long relationship before that. It was horrendous. I've done lots of work and feel I'm ready to date but im bloody terrified. It's almost overwhelming. I'm also prone to avoid and was totally celibate for 5 years brides now. I've been on a few dates this year, all really nice guys. I had a fwb for 6 weeks but I'm really want a full relationship so I'm steering clear of just sex. It's so scary. I can't quite work out what I'm scared of. I was thinking about relate. I may have a consultation and take it from there. Hissy are you in a relationship now?

I was. For a year. But I ended it when he told me that he didn't see a future.

To get to that relationship, I had to go through a number of stages before I was ready to have a full, committed relationship.

Ultimately it was his issues that caused our relationship to fail, not me, not mine. I don't regret it, and know that I would do it again and again until I find the person who loves me for me, just the way I am, AND is able to love himself AND me.

I'm sad yes, because I had hopes, but I can see that he was only ever a transition relationship, what will follow will be better.

Currently 'interviewing' for the position of luckiest man in the world.