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Original poster

Give me your top 5 OD sites for a 53 year old newby

13 replies

Snowandsunshine · 16/06/2013 11:35

Lots of great info on here about OD, and I have my thick skin in place, but would like suggestions for which sites to try. Was thinking of doing several sites, or does that make me look desperate? Like I care

What I'm looking for is to meet some nice, decent men I can see socially and if someone wonderful came along it could develop into more > Definitely not looking for casual sex or marriage, but men I could enjoy some good times with.

I could afford paid sites but posts seems to suggest you don't always buy quality IYSWIM.

Also was thinking of not using a photo - something else I read on MN. Good idea or not? I do actually scrub up quite well.

Guide me dear vipers Smile

OP posts:
StuffezLaYoni · 16/06/2013 11:37

Hi,
I paid for 3 months of Match and found it rubbish. I now use OkCupid, which is free, and there seem a lot more decent guys on there. Whatever site you use though, you'll probably get a mixture of nice guys and knobheads!

Original poster
Snowandsunshine · 16/06/2013 17:09

Any more suggestions........please. Smile

OP posts:
SmallChanges · 16/06/2013 17:25

It depends where you live and whether your age demography have chosen the same dating siteGrin

POF for all the complaints is probably the most busy site. Yes, you'll need to weed out the time wasters etc, but genuine people are on that website as much as any other.

I'll second that Match wasn't that great for me, much slower site, in terms of responses etc.

ImperialBlether · 16/06/2013 17:29

I would go for a site where people have to pay to contact each other. POF is really awful. Try one like Guardian Soulmates.

Whereabouts are you, OP? Do you meet men in your everyday life or in any hobbies?

dippymother · 16/06/2013 18:02

Met my DP on Dating Direct but met some time wasters before that. I am similar age group to you. Not sure re photo, though I probably would expect a photo to be sent to me privately if I was planning on meeting someone for a date, and there was no profile pic, but I did have a photo on my profile for all to see. The downside was that I got a lot of attention from men at least 10 years older - men my age often want younger women even if they are no oil painting themselves!

akaWisey · 16/06/2013 18:26

I tried Guardian Soulmates - no joy. Also on OKC and I've had two dates from there (bailed from both).

I'm also on CheekyFifty which is sort of related to POF I think, but it's active. There are the fair share of time wasters but the site has really cleaned up the 'salesmen' who were looking for targets. I have photo's up and I don't respond to messages from blokes who don't have one.

I live in Kent and most of the guys seem to be Essex or London and northwards.

Original poster
Snowandsunshine · 16/06/2013 18:26

Imperial I'm in the West Midlands.

OP posts:
myfriendflicka · 16/06/2013 18:42

Guardian Soulmates is good - I have not met anyone long term on there but I have had some attention and quite a few dates from it - and the men were relatively normal and I had something in common with them.

Eharmony is also quite good - lots of people on it although they will send you men from all over the place.

What you do need to prepare yourself for is people bailing out suddenly - try not to take it personally (although that is difficult). Also, be prepared to contact people yourself, don't wait for them to come to you.

Don't just rely on OD to meet men - also get yourself out and about in real life. The trouble with these sites is men tend to be very casual on them - may just want sex but don't make that clear, (ha ha ha of course they don't!) or don't feel obliged to tell you they have met someone else and won't massage you again, or were just having a look and didn't really want a relationship.

You do need to be careful and protect yourself emotionally - I did not realise that at first. You sound quite sorted. Good luck!

Also make sure you tick the box that says you don't want your membership automatically renewed or they will keep you on there for months and months and bankrupt you!

I am the same age as you - good luck!

myfriendflicka · 16/06/2013 18:43

Message not massage !!!! Not meant to be Freudian slip!

Original poster
Snowandsunshine · 16/06/2013 19:59

flicka - I'm aspiring to be sorted, its just an act at the moment, but I'm getting there. And thanks for the advice.

Grin at massage

OP posts:
southchinasea · 16/06/2013 21:02

I'd agree that guardian soulmates is good, have met some nice, normal men, bright and interesting types that could easily have been friends of friends. Definitely be proactive and message first, don't wait to be contacted. Mysinglefriend also okay, though got the impression lots of people weren't actually active members, just left their profiles up, but could be wrong.

Original poster
Snowandsunshine · 18/06/2013 00:26

Is the Times one any good?

OP posts:
JessicaBeatriceFletcher · 18/06/2013 08:37

From my experience, it depends hugely where you live. For instance, Guardian Soulmates is great if you live in some of the big cities, otherwise it's useless and empty.

OK Cupid I found a completely waste of time, Match not much better. EHarmony was appalling. Oddly enough, Plentyoffish is the only one I've actually met anyone from.

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