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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

in law problems

4 replies

EasyFromNowOn · 14/06/2013 14:58

hi, I am wondering if anyone had any advice on how best to deal with this?

mil is emotionally and financially abusive towards fil. he's had enough. She takes pretty much all of his money off him and he's getting into debt to pay the bills each month. He has tried explaining that he can not continue to give her what she wants, but she won't listen.

Last time he stood up to her and refused to do what she wanted was in the early 80s, she hit him with a saucepan, called the police on him & had him arrested and then took an overdose. He has not disagreed with her since, until just recently.

She locked fil out of the house last night so he spent the night at sil's. so far we have advised him to call the police to get back in the house, and if she threatens suicide again to call 999 but not to engage otherwise. I had also advised fil to get a few days worth of clothes in his car & keep his car keys on him at all times which turned out useful.

is fil best off just finding a solicitor or is there somewhere he can go for advice on how to deal with her? I'm not sure he wants to save the marriage at this point.

Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
toldmywrath · 14/06/2013 19:47

I have no words of advice to offer, just sorry to hear about this. Hope some one else can help 7 at least your fil has your support.

toldmywrath · 14/06/2013 19:48

Should've been '&' not 7 !

EasyFromNowOn · 14/06/2013 20:35

Thanks, told.

I am staying out of it as much as possible, and just relaying practical advice via DH, because she likes drama, and feeling like everyone is ganging up on her so I have no desire to feed this. I also suspect she is depressed, but when sil tried to suggest this to her, mil threw her out of the house, so currently she isn't speaking to either of her children.

OP posts:
CrazyCatLady13 · 17/06/2013 13:54

Mankind is useful for men suffering DV - they can be contacted on 01823 334244 or mankind.org.uk

The important thing is to get your FIL some support so that he feel strong enough to make the right decisions for himself.

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