If you don't have contact with your family do you still go to funerals?

[schooldidi]

Fil's wife has just died. Dp hasn't seen or spoken to his dad for 6 years, and for years before that it was just one visit a year for about an hour or so around Christmas. There was never a major falling out, neither of them particularly made an effort to see each other and they drifted apart to the level of polite strangers really. I do know that dp is rather hurt that fil has always made a lot of effort to see his wife's dcs and dgcs on a regular basis but has never even met his own grandaughter.

His dad didn't tell dp about his wife dying, we didn't even know she was ill, dp's aunt texted him because she thought he should be kept informed.

Dp doesn't know whether or not to go to the funeral, or even whether we would be welcome (I also don't know if I will be allowed time off to go to a funeral if it's not close family). What do you think?

As your DP has decided to go, I'm glad you are going with him. Of course you should take a day off to support your DP when he is doing something which is clearly going to be very difficult for him. It won't be a pleasant experience for DP, but even more need for you to be there as a bit of loving support for him.

Perhaps you wont need to stay long and you and your DP could take the opportunity afterwards for a pub lunch or a nice walk together. It would be a good idea for you and dp to decide in advance that as the circumstances are a bit shit, you will aim to get something good out of the day

It is going to be a very difficult day but yes Scarlet we will make sure we get something good out of the day. We're going to get to take dd2 to pre-school that day, which we never have done because we're always at work so the cm takes her every day. That will be nice, she really wants to show us where she goes every day.

We are going to go back to his aunt's house afterwards so it will be nice seeing her and some of his cousins, even if fil doesn't pay much attention to us being there.