ouch! that really hurts. (tmi, be warned)...

[owww]

Of course, I've changed my name for this. I was wondering when sex becomes less painful after the birth? My dc is a few monthes now and tried it with dp last week and it was painful. Didn't really get into it (tmi, sorry ), it felt like i was having an internal examination . Um, if that isn't painful for you, it feels like my cervix is being forced open .

I wouldn't really have bothered posting, but for the fact that dp was my first (and I his). It was really painful first couple of nights. Midwife had asked me if i was experiencing any pains whilst i was pregnant and said no because i find it is too, too embarrasing to admit. It's not always painful, it is alway painful from the back (vagina not anas) though. I don't think it is vaginism (sp) as it's not always bad and don't really know much about painful sex. I only found out about vaginism a couple of monthes ago from here.

Right now all I want to know is that it will stop, and the back bit does it always hurt?

I had 2nd degree tear, external & internal stitches but thought at 3 wks felt fine around my perineum let's go for it! OMG it was the inside that was bad! Only managed to have full complete intercourse at 8 wks, and enjoyed it well at 12. Still hurt at least around month 3/4 but slowly got better. I really thought it would be my perineum that would be the worst but ohhh n...

It was 5 months after my first baby before ex-H could get in to me without me howling in pain & 7 months before I was able to enjoy sex again.
I had forceps delivery with episiotomy & tore so lots of internal stitching & bruising.
Definitely helps if you are relaxed, so a few glasses of wine or a stiff G+T wouldn't go amiss.

You should definitely get yourself looked at. Sex shouldn't be painful! There are many many possible reasons for this pain, and you should get yourself diagnosed by a medical professional.

If you're embarrassed about seeing your midwife or GP, go along to your local Sexual Health Clinic - my local one is run as a drop-in clinic, and can be anonymous if you request it. They are very friendly and will be gentle with you!!

btw it doesn't sound like vaginismus to me. But there are many other conditions, such as vulvodynia, which cause pain during intercourse. Most likely it's nothing that won't sort itself out in time, but you should get yourself checked out to rule out anything serious.

Didn't think anyone would reply after my last post. Thanks to all you who have.
I was relaxed (I was the one who started, was teasing dp something awful )
I know i should get it checked out, especially have a smear. But with the smears, they last for awhile i think and i don't think i could stand a few seconds . A wimp, I know. But I'll try and book an appointment soon.

You are not a wimp,let's face it,none of us enjoy going,and you are in pain too fgs!
What's the set up at your gp practice?Could you choose a gp or practice nurse to see,explain about the pain and how very anxious you are.
Please,please don't feel silly,you are not the first and you won't be the last,honest.
At some stage,honey I think you are just going to have to bite the bullet and go.Sorry.Maybe take some Bach Rescue Remedy or Kalms before the appointment?
Think how good you will feel to get this sorted out,eh?

I know what you mean about dreading a smear test! I have vulvodynia which makes a smear test v uncomfortable. I think you should put the smear on hold for a bit - get yourself checked out first, and treated if necessary - then when you know where you are, get the smear test done. You can get the same person who examines you, at the clinic or wherever you go, to do the smear test as well. They will be familiar with you, and be extra gentle! There are things they can do to make it less uncomfortable, eg if it is skin irritation, you can apply anaesthetic gel before they put the speculum in. Smear tests are quite quick, they insert the speculum, take a swab then the speculum comes out again. you won't have to be lying there for ages - maybe 30 seconds?

hth

Thanks that was helpful from both of you. I will make an appointment at the gp. It's a new one i quite like the doc as she's very nice and pro type. It just the pain i'm worried about and what might be found.

I'm not sure if i can chooce, I just assumed. Always kinda steered away from anything to do with my privates. Will ask tho

I went 6 months after my babes before I let dh touch me again. I have gone through periods pre-kids when I found sex painful too.

I had bad scarring with dd and the scar tissue made sex very painful. But I tried inserting tampons and when I could this comfortably then I tried sex. It does get better, with me it was psychological too. Get it checked by your GP, it might not be as bad as you fear!

Thanks Rhubarb, I will