"Do you think you'lll ever get married again?"

[OneMoreCupOfTeaFirst]

Why do people ask this do you think?! I'm not really chippy about it, just wondering why they ask. I'm not clairvoyant. I am not going to bare my soul and say oh I'm lonely every second Saturday. I'm not unhappy and that should be obvious if you know me!

I wouldn't ask you if you think you're going to get divorced? I'm single so it's not like I've got a brides magazine sticking out of my bag. I want to say 'Married? no!, men my own age think I'm too old for them, the fat bald chancers, and I don't want to lose my tiny house which is all I've got.' But I smile and say 'well, I don't know, I doubt it. Feel free to introduce me to somebody who is good company though?".

Ahh I get this.

I just laugh and say 'why on earth would I want to do that?' 99% of the time it shuts 'em up!

Because single women frighten people!

Parents think you cant possible manage alone, granparents think that no women should be unmarried as she needs a man to take care of her and friends think that you are after their husband.

They all want you safely married off so you dont continue to upset their status quo!

Do you move in circles where being single is unusual? I've honestly never been asked that, although I have been asked quite frequently why I've been on my own for so long. Maybe it's the same thing?

I usually reply that being single has a lot to recommend it and I wouldn't want to give up the freedoms just to wash someone else's socks though I'm happy to take a non-live-in lover. Usually shuts them up.

Good answer.

What pps said. I actually know I won't get married again. I find the thought terrifying.

I've faced this. I think it's people's idea of what is 'normal' and 'appropriate' for a woman. Safely married off....
Its their idea of what would be good for me

I know I've been asked this too. Maybe not recently i'm too old now I guess but would it sound bitter to say that i'd rather preserve what I have. But marriage? a date would be nice.

I'm also asked it on a regular basis and I'm living with dp. Why would I want to complicate things by remarrying? Once was more than enough.

Idle chit chat? A bit thoughtless maybe... It's the kind of tw*ttish thing I might say without thinking, to a long standing friend. I certainly wouldn't be implying any of the things suggested above.

It would be less bothersome if it was worded "Would you like to get married again?" . The OPs question assumes desperation on the part of the singleton which would piss anyone off! It sounds like you would marry anyone, anytime, just in order to get a ring on your finger, and removes the element of choice.

Within 12 hours of my ridiculous marriage ending I had multiple: "Don't worry, you will get married again!"

I wasn't worried. Now I'm worried!

I'd get married again if the person/circumstances were right. I'm certainly not against marriage or bitter about my failed one. I'm just a lot more choosy about who I'd get married to these days and haven't yet met anyone who's been able to persuade me to give up my hard-won independence and freedom. If I'd been that picky in the past, I probably wouldn't be writing this as a single mother.

I hear you

I cannot imagine it. I really loved him - well, how important was that?

Never.

I need a husband as much as a fish needs a bicycle.

I always assume it's just meaningless chat. I expect they want an answer along the lines of "Oh, you never know, depends what happens ..." I tend to say, Nah, tried it twice and didn't like it

I am always ready to promote the benefits of singledom, though, like Dahlen.

I normally say something like yes I expect so, still time for a few more husbands and

although in reality it's very hard to think of why I might want to - would have to be an amazing person to be better than living alone
to all of you

Get asked that a lot, and I generally say "why the f**k would I do that? that's hope over experience"

I need a husband as much as a fish needs a bicycle. love this...can I borrow it??

fool as it's a well known phrase from the 70's, (although clearly not as well known as I thought) why are you asking

I've just split up from EXP. Several friends have listened with horror at the way I've been living for 10 years.

He was horribly selfish, and probably EA. I'm working hard to accept that the right thing to do was to end the relationship. Two of my lovely friends have listened to the crap I have put up with, heard me admit that its hard to let him go despite everything and then said, " maybe you should get married to him".

WTAF!!

He's treated me horribly, we have a 6yo DS who I will do anything to minimise the effect of this on. Luckily I own my own home, and run a business. he has contributed almost nothing financially for 10 years. Why the HELL would I want to marry him.

This is from lovely, wise, sensible friends?!

Rant over. Apologies.

Have had this and we have only been seperated six months and havent even thought about divorce yet (trying to sort house move/financial stuff first).

Whilst someone to cuddle might be nice - the whole married/dependant bit does not feature in my short/medium term plans!

Love the fish/bicycle comment :)

I usually reply
" I would rather stick pins in my eyeballs"

I always shrug and say 'why not, I'll try everything once, twice I like it, and I did have an amazing honeymoon which was paid for by my wedding guests, what's not to like'? Cue, looks of horror.

clearly my education has been lacking!!...so for anyone else who was wondering where it came from...

^Irene Dunn coined the famous catch phrase: "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle," which was subsequently popularized by Gloria Steinem and became a popular slogan among feminists. Later, U2 used the phrase in their song Tryin' to Throw Your Arms Around the World.^

My actual reply is " why would i want to do that?"