what else is there to do to get back at me??

[mouseymummy]

In December last year I went nc with my mother after she called me on my wedding night screaming and shouting at me. My mother is an alcoholic who is currently engaged to her p who is also an alcoholic with previous drug issues.

Due to going nc with her ive said she is not to have anything to do with my two dd's (9 and 8mo). In the past, before the drink really took hold she used to have my eldest overnight once every 6 weeks or so. This has slowly dwindled to twice a yr since she started seeing the new guy around 3 yrs ago. My dd loves her Nanny but knows about why im not talking to her and why she cant see her for now.

Anyway, last Wednesday ss turned up on my door step. They have had a call regarding my eldest and wanted to speak to us. According to them, the complainant has said I starve dd (she's skinny but can easily polish off an adults meal portion and desert. She eats like a horse and spends her days running around like a lunatic so she's not bloody starved) her step dad apparently picks her up from school most days and drags her up the road from school (her step dad has picked her up a total of twelve times this school year (school keep a record of who picks up the child due to an incident last yr) ) he has never laid a finger on her and wouldn't as he knows id leave him for it. Oh and dd doesnt sleep in her bed, she sleeps on the floor and she isnt dry as I dont allow her to use the bathroom.

Ss spent an hour talking to dd, they spoke to me and my dh and spoke about dd2, they have spoken to the school and to the hv.

I spent two days trying desperately to work out who the hell could have done this to us.v

My mum has admitted to my aunt that it was her as my aunt had her suspicions.

Wtaf is she fucking playing at??? I want to ring her and just go bat shit crazy down the phone. Im 21 weeks pg ffs!! I know thats not gonna help and I wont do it but how the hell can I stop such shit from happening again??

My aunt reckons my mother thought she could get contact or maybe custody of dd through ss but after this my dds dad has said that if I allow contact then he will be forced to go through solicitors etc to remove dd from my care UNLESS dd sees mother in a contact centre where he can supervise. Ive assured him I have no intention of ever allowing contact, unless its those exact circumstances.

Argh. Sorry this is so long and jumbled but im fuming and I dont know what to do. How the hell am I gonna stop her ringing ss or whoever next and spouting bullshit to them too?

It will be marked down as a malicious report so if she rings again they will fully expect it to be malicious again although they may still visit you to ensure that it is.

Sorry I can't help but I'd write everything down just so you've got a written record of everything. It sounds dreadful. You sound like you're handling what is a very difficult situation, well.

Wow OP that is really really awful, at least you had evidence with the school record. I don't really know how to react. A visit from SS would have been just awful!!!

I think you are best doing nothing to react.

I imagine it is really stressful but try maintain confidence in your own parenting abilities and look after yourself.

I hope you've told ss who reported you. yes, they know already but you can shed some light on the motive for the report. On her and p's alcoholism eg. They need to know this, it needs to be on record.

I wouldn't contact her iiwy. Maybe she hoped for a reaction. Don't give it to her. Act as though you've brushed this off like a fly - because it is completely unfounded nonsense.

Thank you so much for your replies. Im so glad I've not reacted and im going to continue this. I cant give her the satisfaction.

I have tried calling the sw who came out and leave her a message so im waiting for a call back.

When the sw came round I mentioned that she used to see my mum and no longer does (they were asking if dd goes to stay with family etc) the sw said we did the right thing in stopping her going and dd also said that she wanted to go but "nanny is dangerous when shes drunk and cant look after me properly" they seemed ok with that.

My husband is fuming!! Hes had ss involved with him (he was in care) so he is trying to get in touch with anyone who might be able to help us.

He is having a giggle at her expense though as she thinks that as my mum she'll get some kind of first refusal on dd but what she doesnt realise is that dd would choose to go to her dad and its what we would push for anyway.