I've made a mess.

[ruthvermouth]

I have done something wrong at work - unintentionally as I really try to be good at my job. A couple of things have been overlooked by me - mainly because the deadlines have been tighter as I have been on leave. Rushing to do everything else I managed to forget.

Problem is that I really can't deal with confrontation and my team leader is really .... difficult. I think that she thinks she is approachable but really makes me feel stupid even if I just have a question ..... so I don't know how I will dare to tell her. I am really panicking and feel sick just thinking about going to work. Plus I know she will either make a big public scene in the office or will tell people anyway and hold me up as some sort of example of what not to be like.

I just want to sit and cry which I know is pathetic. I'm scared.

It is so wrong that she has created an environment where people are afraid to admit mistakes. Managers who do that just end up with everyone being mediocre because they are afraid to go the extra mile or be innovative. You sound so conscientious, I want to believe she will see that it could have happened to anyone. I think you have to be brave and tell her though. Maybe you could soften the message by explaining how to avoid the same thing happening again, although it may not be that kind of error. If public humiliation really is part of her repertoire, I think HR should know. Good luck, I feel for you, I've been there.

I know it's going to be hard, but if you're sure you can't fix it, you should hold your hands up. It might be worse if she finds out from somewhere else rather than you.

Would she make such a fuss if you go armed with a solution as to how to fix the problem? Do you have any close colleagues that could support you?

And it's not pathetic at all.

Firstly, try not to panic, the anticipation is bound to be far worse than the actual outcome. Can you email and request a private meeting ? Your boss's behaviour sounds borderline bullying & ime bullys thrive with an audience.
Secondly, give yourself a break, your only human & humans are not perfect.
I have also been there & lived to tell the tale.

I agree with EllaFitzgerald. Approach it a little like 'The Apprentice' board-room. i.e Go armed with a solution, own up to the problem, but be assertive about why it happened and defend yourself if she makes a scene rather than too much mea culpa accepting blame. I cocked up royal yesterday & got a complete bollocking off my (normally very lovely) boss. It happens.

I don't think that emailing would work - we are all in the same office and she would probably announce something like "time for our private meeting now" in front of everyone.

I just really hate any sort of conflict and am a lot less confident than I used to be.

Colleagues all just put their heads down when anything happens and then gossip about it later.

She is not a good manager. This is her failure not yours if a minor omission results in fear & gossip. I would speak to her manager about the way she treats you.

Please don't be scared, I have worked under a bitch boss like this in the past, have some off me.

What Cogito and Midwife said. Be assertive, tell her what happened and why. Suggest a solution. Being a manager does not mean she is entitle to embarrass you or speat to you like shit. If necessary go over her head.

She is friends with the next manager up and best friends with the wife of the manager above that! :(

It isn't really that minor an omission but it isn't life and death and wasn't intentional. I just know that she will love this as she likes to be able to put people down. I must just be an easy target as I am quiet. She told me in my appraisal that I don't have enough character to ever get into management - I don't think that I am cut out for management but she just threw the comment in.

I just wish I was good at something that sort of pointed me to a job. I just drifted into admin. I do like it but .... I don't like feeling sick on Sunday nights knowing I am going in the next day. I can't afford not to work though and there are no jobs around here.