Starting a divorce and not sure how

[nosferatu]

I am about to start the divorce ( 10 years, 2 kids, husband a total asshole), and I am lost in a a legal maize.

He wants to take me to mediation to divide the assets and is promising he will be fair, but on the other side, he is telling me he wants the kids and the new 4 bedroom house we bought last year. He is having total difficulty coming to terms he will have to give up something and I am naturally scared. he is also very irrational emotionally. We also have a second property he could go to. I haven't chosen a solicitor yet as I don't know anyone in my area to have done this ( Twickenham, Richmond). How do you choose it!?

I kind of ponder over 2 options a) go legal advice, accept mediation, but state my terms and go with what I know I will win

b) petition for divorce without mediation.
No idea where to go.

Do NOT believe him.

Do NOT believe him.

Put your trust in your lawyer's advice. Generally it is mediation with the lawyers alongside, and a few going to court.

Assholes do NOT suddenly become fair when they are being rejected.

He is NOT your friend. Marriage is emotional. Divorce is business.

Idon't beliee him but wondering if I still should go to mediation. Willphone a solicitior today tosee what they say

I went to 3 sessions of mediation over a year ago, ex finally decided to stop going when he realised they woudn't go along with his totally unreasonably low financial offers (said in a very calm peaceful way!).

A year later still nothing legally binding, although in the last 6 six weeks i've had over a dozen legal letters all asking for more info in a different way, or threatening court action.

I'd try mediation, just in the hope it may work, wouldn't wish the uncertainty and email threats i've had over the past year telling me we had to leave the family home on anyone.

You can still petition for divorce AND go to mediation at the same time - they're not mutually exclusive. I would go, and remember you can pull out at any time if you are not happy with the way it's going.

I pulled out after two sessions, but would have forever wondered "what if" if I hadn't tried it.

Best way to get a lawyer is personal recommendation but you should also try the search function on the Law Society website if you're looking for a specialist in Family Law in your area.

My suggestion would be to go through with your solicitor what would be a fair settlement and, if you still decide to go to mediation, turn up with that as your starting point. If his ideas are unreasonable and he doesn't want a fair settlement you go back to the lawyer and it costs you a little more. If he agrees with the fair settlement, you've saved a few quid.