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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feel sad but relieved.

4 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 10/06/2013 23:09

Cut my toxic friend loose today....

Reasons why:
She puts a lot of pressure on me to go out when I don't feel like it.
Got jealous when I got a bf and succesfully sabotaged it by her unsolicited comments(such as ''are you sure it's passionate enough?'' rather than letting me make my own mistakes.
She uses her 'intuition' to find weak spots in my relationships.
She sometimes goes with guys with girlfriends.
She is also not speaking to one of my close friends as she thinks that she is after her husband (when said friend has no interest in him at all and has a bf)
The day after my bf dumped me I got arsey texts about how she was sad too as her son had just started nursery and needed support too and why on earth did I put an exclamation mark on my texts.( I was at newly devastated and dumped stage)
She wanted me to cancel a lovely girly curry night that I had organised for all of my friends to go out clubbing with her.
She is very into woo stuff which I don't really like.

I feel like such a bitch but I had to tell her why I couldn't hang out with her any more. There are things I do like about her; she is lovely in some ways and we had fun together but I did the right thing didn't I?

OP posts:
superstarheartbreaker · 10/06/2013 23:10

I didn't cancel the curry night btw but I am just worn out with continuously having to defend my boundaries with this girl.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 11/06/2013 08:49

She sounds like a rather immature PITA bully to me. If she is lovely in some ways and you can find a way to successfully enjoy her in small doses, fine. But if you're fed up with her neurotic antics, move right along and let someone else be her victim.

nerofiend · 11/06/2013 10:23

If a guy were lovely in some ways and sinister in others, everybody here would advise you to bin. You should do exactly the same with female friends. If they're toxi and manipulative, LTB - leave the "bad friend".

You've done the right thing. Learn from this experience and set the right boundaries with friends in the future.

superstarheartbreaker · 11/06/2013 18:37

Thanks all. I do feel rotten though and I will miss her. When I told her I couldn't support her through her divorce when I was feeling like this she replied "What a bitch you are! I never asked you to support me" .....This is depite me listening to all her stories of the men she was with whilst she was deciding if she should divorce. I told her I didn't think she should shag men with girlfriends and she told me I had assasinated her character.........Am I a bitch now? I feel like a crap friend who is crap with men and crap with women.

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