He cheated...

[PinkPlum]

To cut a long story short, DH and I have 2 beautiful babies together. Been having problems recently but he said he wanted us to reconcile and go to counselling together. I agreed as I would not want a divorce unless in extreme circumstances which i did not deem to be the case currently.

It was my birthday last week. I told him I wanted space so he went out whilst I stayed in and put kids to bed. I assumed he was going to his parents house. Found out last night (he confessed) that he cheated on me in his car with some random girl he has been chatting to whilst we have been having problems. On my birthday!! Not that it makes much of a difference to me but he said he did not sleep with her, she just gave him a b*w jb (sorry to be graphic). how disgusting. I kicked him out but I feel totally gutted. He has totally betrayed me and destroyed our family :( I never ever thought he would be capable of doing this to me. I think I am going to be filing for divorce but really needed to vent...

What a scummy pig cunt he is.

Do you have RL support in regards to your babies and working?

Would make me want to vomit. So sorry for you, what an awful man. He's broke you and your family

Surround yourself with as much support, help and love as you can. Tell RL people who will offer you support.

What you've lost is something of an illusion, someone as low as him was something horrid waiting to happen, however well he disguised it. That's a really hard thing to process.

Let's hope he's a better father than he is a husband for the sake of your beautiful babies. But what you'll teach them without him in your home is how to behave with dignity, integrity and care for others and themselves. Hugs x

Morning, PP, hope you slept. Let that anger drive you on to do what you need to do.

Best to knock this on the head while your babies are young, then you can make the new reality normal for them. Believe me, it would all be a lot harder with regard to the children if they were teenagers. As it is, they are young and you will make things as good as you possibly can for them. They would not benefit in any case from you staying with this knob, really.

This is such a shock , but you sound more than equipped to deal with it, and to get through it. Have you been able to talk to anyone in RL about it?

Hope you are ok

Thanks everyone :)
I actually had a good night's sleep. As much as it makes me sick what he's done, he is just not worth thinking about. The relationship is done, there is no way I could stay with someone who behaves likes this.

Apart from you guys, I've only told my mum. But I have a really good group of girlfriends for support and will be telling them later in the week when we meet.

I have told 'not-so DH' that he can see the babies Sunday. I think this will have to become a regular arrangement as they need both of us in their lives. I will have to be there as they are only tiny and will not be without me at the moment. I am just dreading being around this fool for hours... :(

He'll cope if he has to if you're there then he'll let you "help" out forever.
Can he see them at his mums ?
I just wouldn't want to look at the turd if I didn't have to.

I should think his relationship with this person was a significant cause of the difficulties you've been facing recently.
^^ This!

And don't forget - cheats always minimise - so it could be worse than he is freely admitting to right now.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Many of us have been where you are and it will get harder for a while. All kinds of emotions will appear - but it does get better with time and you will get through this for your babies.

for you!

Oh thank you melons :)

And thanks mosman - I really don't want to see or be around the creep and would love to c how he copes but don't want my little babies to be sad without me and looking for me. So for their sakes I will have to be around. Also, I just don't trust him anymore. He is quite a spiteful person and because I don't want him anymore, i think he wants to hurt me

Only a blow job

Nice. How dare he minimise what he's done?!

I'm so sorry, you must feel ill with all this. My XH behaved like this, He disgusts me.

It makes you wonder if it's your fault.

Its their fault the filthy creatures

What a bastard

I'm glad you aren't debating whether to try to make it work or not though.

You and your children are a family - it's him that's missing out on that.

How old are you children?

Mine did it on my birthday too, I'm tempted to send him photos of what I'll be doing on his.
No respect these twats, for the family they created, their wives or even the poor cow with his dick in her mouth.

Yes he is a total shit. I suspect there is plenty that I am totally unaware of. I actually think he must have already have done more when he confessed to have been "just chatting" to other women. There are 2 people apparently that he speaks to (poor cows) one of which gave him the b job. I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg but I don't need to hear about the rest. He has made his bed and now he can lie in it.
I was not the woman to put up with cheating and now he is finding that out the hard way

Chipping - my lovely little dd is 2 and beautiful ds is only 1. He is going to miss out on so much the fool.

I bumped into ex-dh's sister's ex (sounds more complicated than it is!) this morning and he had heard (from ex-dh's sister) that we were having problems. I told him we are over. He has obviously reported back pretty promptly as I have received a text from ex-DH 'totally heartbroken' that I have said we are over to someone else. I don't know what he expected. Granted I haven't wasted any time in saying it but I was not going to lie. Y should I? He did not spare my feelings so I don't know why he expects me to spare his. I am not even going to respond to his ridiculous texts.
Time to move on...

Good for you PP. Onwards and upwards! Actually I am glad it got back to him so quickly. Poor diddums is totally heartbroken? Excellent! Serves him bloody well right.

You, dear PinkPlum, are going to be fine

And, yes, don't bother responding.

OMG you told someone you know the truth about your relationship?

Wow, that's way worse than getting someone else to suck your dick on your wife's birthday!

Oh no wait, it's not.

He's fucking heartbroken?

The self-indulgent prick.

It's just all about him and how he feels, isn't it?

What AThingInYourLife said.

Are you supposed to feel sorry for him PP?

I loathe men like this, ME ME ME.

Putting a quick blowjob before his wife and family.

Gets all he deserves.

Ignore the texts, Pinky. Do not waste any more time on him.

OP, I salute you.

Aw thanks everyone. It is so reassuring to know that there are nice, kind people out there. Thank you all for the support.

He has always been self-indulgent as well as insecure and jealous. It all makes a lot of sense now. I'm glad he's done this otherwise god knows how much more of my life I would've wasted on him. The silly fool has been sending me texts all day. He texted me saying that I took the news so well that it shows I never loved him. How obnoxious. Just because I refuse to lower myself to discussing it with him or shouting or making myself miserable because of his pathetic behaviour.. He even sent me a text saying that he is so jealous that his sister's ex spoke to me and he 'always knew he had feelings' for me...God he is an idiot.

What a tool. He is getting rather desperate now, isn't he? What on earth did you see in him ?

What a plank.

You sound so strong and grounded, PinkPlum, in the face of all his goading. Well done you

I don't even know any more AnyFucker. Yes he is getting desperate to the point of texting to say that if at any point I decide to have him back I just need to 'say the word' and he will be here with open arms, ending whatever relationship he may be in at the time!! Unbelievable. Even now he is thinking about himself being in future relationships. He seems like such a different person to who I married :(

He is desperate for a reaction from you..don't rise to it. Please continue to ignore his texts and enjoy time with your DC's.
However be prepared for some serious emotional begging/blackmail on Sunday when he seen the DC's.
Remember you owe him nothing and NO is a complete sentence.

Thank you turnipcake x I just always knew that I would never be able to tolerate cheating, not only for my own sake but for my children's. I was once that child. I chose to adopt a zero tolerance policy for my own life.

I have lost all respect for him. If I could erase him from my world I would. Unfortunately not that easy with the two babies

Doha - you are spot on. A reaction is exactly what he wants. It is driving him mad that he has not had one.

I will be ignoring him on Sunday. I will simply be my usual happy self as I do not want an unpleasant day for my little sweethearts