Hi guys,
it's been nearly a year since I left my husband. My little girl was then 18 months then. She is now over two and growing lovely. Me and her Dad split up because he used to treet me badly before she was born and even worse when she was born. I am going to put you into picture with a few situations as what I really need to know is that I am not getting mad and I truly had a reason to leave him as lately I have been under so much pressure that I really don't know what is going on anymore.
1 scenario. Worked together as a crew on public transport. We had a suspition that I may be pregnant as period was late (later turned up I wasn't), he breaks, I fall badly... he doesn't even come to have a look if I am ok and refuses to report the incident because bosses would bother him.
2 scenario. I am pregnant. Spent 7 hours at A and E with suspition for a blood clot as my calve is killing me. He comes after he finishes work (after midninght) and tells me off in front of everybody for not telling him that I will be another hour and half for test results as he could have gone home and stayed there for a while yet.
3 scenario. Our daughter is born. Emergency cesarean. I lost lots of blood and stayed at special care ward for rest of day. Ever since birth he does nothing. We come home and I sleep in my daughter's room and do all feedings, all nappies and all bathing and everything else as he is working.
I gave him 18 months for this to change. And it didn't so I left him. I have found a lovely man that is really taking care of us but somehow ex always has a dramatic influence on my mental state... after we split up he kept following me and stalking and threatening that he will get best lawyers and take my daughter of me. Nearly a year later I am still scared. He always kept being mardy and would shout at me for every little thing yet he is convinced that that is not abuse as he didn't touch me. I really don't want him to suffer no matter how he hurt me... I know he will never understad what he trully did to me as he hasn't got it in himself at all... but I am trying to keep it fair... trying to understand it is difficult for him to imagine that another man sees his child more then him. I pretty much work around him and let him have our daughter sleeping over when he has his scheduled days off. Now I at least got him to give me his schedule a month in advance. He has become a better father since and can take care of our daughter when he is with her and she has no problems going with him and appears to be happy when we go to park together and so. Thing is I am now on a verge of moving out of town. Literally just 5 miles away because there are best schools in the area there and I want my little girl to be able to go to one of those but I can already see the horrid argument comming. Him shouting at me that it is too far and he can't afford it and it's all the petrol and it's not convinient. I also want to move in with my partner now as him and my daughter get on absolutely wonderfully. But I am just so scared... this fear is totally ruining and over powering my life and I just don't know what to do with it. I know him and I am really scared as I know he is capable of lying and doing anything just to hurt me... he really will get the lawyers (his parents are quite well off) and I am sure he will try to take my little girl off me somehow... and she is whole my world... I am so very scared and feel like i will never be able to have normal life anymore. Please ladies I need some advice. ;o(