When will this feeling stop?

[jesscakes]

Just wondering if anyone has any good tips on how to get over someone that doesnt want you. Its been almost 3 years and most days Im fine but if I see him it really effects me, like stupidly. My legs go numb and I cant concentrate for ages. I have even woken up this morning feeling quite sad as he pretends not to see me any more. Im nothing in his world. Why does this happen, its been 3 years. Noone has ever had this affect on me.

What or who have you replaced him with? Why are you in a position where he can pretend not to see you? Do you live/work in the same place?

Usually, harking back to a past time or relationship is because you've not successfully moved your life forward. When the past looks better than the future, you long for the past. Obviously he's a bit of a immature tit into the bargain if he's actually blanking you .... maybe remind yourself of some of the other crappy things about him and why the relationship ended. Repeat these to yourself daily....

I havnt replaced him with anyone as Im single. I live near him, I have to pass his house daily and he works in the community so I see him driving alot. Its a long story, but I have never been in a relationship with this guy. He was somone that showed me some attention when my husband left. I try to think of what he did and how upset I was. He didnt care and now Im not even worth a hello to him, if he ignores me I never happened I guess. Every day I alway think to myself please dont see him today as it affects me and I hate it.
Your right about not moving on successfully, I have with life in general but not in a relationship as I am single. I do wonder if this feeling will pass if I ever met someone else, I would just like it to without feeling like I have to meet someone else to get over him.

Championing as I tend to do the cause of independent women I am duty-bound to say that you really don't have to be with someone else to get over this person - although it does admittedly make it easier. :) I'm glad you've moved on with your life in general... that's far more important.

Do you really have to pass his house daily or could you go a different way?And have you ever actually had it out with this guy? Did you ever get the opportunity to tell him what a prize shit he is? Would it be possible, next time he blanks you, to say 'Oi!... I'm not invisible you ignorant pig!' Could be that's the (toe-curling word alert) 'closure' you need on this.

Yeah :) its taken a while but life in general is better :)
Yeah I have to pass it as its the only way out of the street and my daughters bus stop is near his house.
When he he said all the right things and was really nice to me and then all of a sudden cut me off. I did actually say to him via email how mean I thought he was for doing what he did, but I said sorry cos I couldnt stand the thought of him not wanting to talk to me, as any contact was contact and enough for me, silly when I think back as I would never allow him to treat me that way now. I actually clung on to the fact he would change his mind even how he treated me. I was in a vulnerable position back then and I hate that I allowed myself to be such a walk over. I wish I could go back and be who I am today. Anyway in the space of 2 and a half years he first changed his number and then disappeared off fb and then he would pretend not to see me and now he looks at me and blanks me completely. I would love closure, I really would as I hate how this makes me feel. Not sure if I can say this to a police officer? I would love to say this and I want him to see Im a stronger more confident person but his memory of me is this vulnerable sad crazy woman that bombarded him with texts asking him to explain (cringe)

You mean he's a police officer?... I wouldn't go so far as to give him chapter and verse on your personal development - not necessary - but I would tell him that blanking you is pretty immature and pathetic, and he should cut it out and grow up, yes. After all, you pay his wages.... isn't he supposed to be pleasant to members of the public? Always be assertive.

He is. If I get the opportunity to actually say it I would but dont seem to as its in passing I see him. I guess thats why its so annoying.

Frustration coupled with an obvious sense of embarrassment about the 'crazy woman' obsessive period is probably why this is still top of mind. I think if you had the opportunity to say, maybe not as bluntly as I put it above, something along the lines of .... stop ignoring me, we've all moved on, we're all grown-ups, I'm long past the stage of bombarding you with texts so let's shake hands and agree to be civil ..... etc. You might then be able to pass him in the street without feeling ill

I wouldn't be saying anything to him. If he is ignoring you, why would you want to set yourself up for further humiliation and rejection? You didn't even have a relationship with this man so he is nothing other than a neighbour.

OP you say he was after your husband left - was that in anyway a professional capacity?

It's not setting yourself up for humiliation and rejection to say 'we've all moved on, let's act like grown-ups'.... it's ending a chapter. If they're neighbours I'd have thought it's better to acknowledge the past crazy behaviour and shake hands over it rather than continue this silly cloak and dagger business of pretending not to see each other ...

I disagree. If you're adults and moving on it's perfectly normal to move on with life without having to say your piece in the name of closure. If OP is feeling hurt and rejected 3 years later even though there wasn't a relationship imagine how she is going to feel if she doesn't get the reaction or reply she is wanting.

He is ignoring her and doing it for a reason. If she doesn't want to look like 'crazy lady' stop perusing this man, which would seem to be the problem that started this. Actions speak louder than words.

It will happen hun. You WILL recover and live again. Seeing him is a problem though.

The Buddhists (I'm not one, don't worry) say that the mind is like a physical space, if we see a small, crowded box room where there is no space, our problems seem enormous and loom massively over us, controlling us. However if we see a massive, endless, green space , our problems seem much smaller and blur into insignificance. There are innocent people dying and suffering hideously and we can help. Get involved and do something for those that need you, even in a small way, I promise your personal problems will soon seem very manageable and disappear altogether in a much short time.

big hugs to you. x

I think it is the memory of 'the crazy woman' and wishing Id handled things differently, wishing he had met the 'new me'
If he didnt ignore me I wouldnt be as bad, its the fact he is, like Im nothing to him. Rejection isnt nice but we all face it at some point, I know but with him its like I cant handle it.
It wasnt through work, we met through a mutual friend. I was in a really bad place and he made me feel good.
thankyou :) I want to get over him and not think about him and I know this is so minor, it just hurts.
CBT whats this?
Thanks everyone :)